Black Men, White Women, and Black Women: Part 2

I started this discuss about some thoughts on Culturally socialised  Bias’ with Specific Regard to Black Men, White Women, and Black Women being in relationship. Here is the concluding part of my story. I do hope you enjoy. 

Click here for the first part: http://www.bosydeprincessa.blogspot.com/2013/10/black-men-white-women-and-black-women.html?m=1

In, Ain't I A Woman Bell hooks proposes one theory for this common occurrence. 

"Explanations as to why marriages between white women and black men are more readily accepted than marriages between white men and black women can be found in patriarchal sexual politics. Since white women represent a powerless group when not allied with powerful white men, their marriage to black men is no greater threat to existing white patriarchal rule. In our patriarchal society if a wealthy white woman marries a black man she legally adopts his status. Accordingly a black woman who marries a white man adopts his status; she takes his name and their children are his heirs. Consequently, if a large majority of that small group of white men who dominate decision-making bodies in American society were to marry black women, the foundation of white rule would be threatened."

Furthermore, hooks notes that white women can be seen as a status symbol. Some black man beleive that unions with white women means they have achieved full assimilation and acceptance by whites.

"Those black men who believe deeply in the American dream, which is in essence a masculine dream of dominance and success at the expense of others, are most likely to express negative feelings about black women and positive feelings about white women. It is not surprising that the black male who finds self-affirmation on the terms set forth by white men would desire a white woman. Because he is living every moment of his life in competition with white men… In fact, if white men decided at any given moment that owning a purple female was the symbol of masculine status and success, black men in competition with white men would have to try and possess a purple female."

I’ve been told many times, by white man that I’ve try to seek out only in friendship, that they are not attracted to black women. This is due to our society’s large devaluation of black women. Black women are always portrayed in negative stereotypes, and to this day are still seen as unsuitable friends and undesirable sexual partners. There’s the asexual doting mammy, the promiscuous jezebel, the angry sapphire, and the black men dressed in female clothing so as to ridicule our clothing and speech, render us asexual, and “emasculate” the black man. Black men who have come to view the white women as a status symbol that must be “acquired” are those that both accept and and hope to affirm white patriarchy. Part of this system is a negative view of blacks, and a belief that men should have power over women (in this case white women).

One could argue that women are more open to interracial relationships because they have been taught to give men access to their bodies. Sexist conditioning teaches men that they have unlimited access to women’s bodies. Women are raised to believe they must attract a mate by being sexual available, subservient, and agreeable. Men have been raised to avoid women they precieve as being too forward. Events like the “Sadie Hawkins Dance”, or “The Backwards Dance”, highlight how unusual it is for women to ask out a man and that such phenomenons should only occur once a year. This could explain why relations between black men and white women are more common than white men and black women. White men are discouraged from pursuing relations with black women because this is seen as a threat to patriarchy. (See here)

Another argument has to do with western standards of beauty. Blonde hair and blue eyes are seen as the peak of attractiveness. Black men and women have both internalized this view on what is womanly and beautiful. While black women struggle to live up to this standard that shouldn’t apply to us, black men continually search for a women that’s society tells us is beautiful. The black men that claims to be exclusively attracted to white women are the same as white men who say they would never seek a relationship with a black women. Both have accepted the idea that white is better. Both have internalized this form of racism. One is hurt by it, while the other continues to reap it’s benefits. This is white-suprematist-capitalist-patriarchy.

Like hooks, I reject the idea that “black men who confess to loving white women and hating black women or vice versa are simply expressing personal preferences free of culturally socialized biases.” In addition, I don’t think that black men in relationships with white women are malicious racists. I do, however, think that one’s sexual preferences are not free from racist-sexist conditioning. Outside forces, largely the media, shape one’s sexual preferences more than one may think. It’s important for everyone to examine their biases, and attractions, and see that these things are hardly formed naturally.

Disclaimer, the intent of this piece was not to throw shade at anyone’s relationship or existence, but instead I hope to start a debate and self-examination.

Sources

1. hooks, bell. “Continued Devaluation of Black Womanhood, The Imperialism of Patriarchy.” Ain’t I a woman: Black women and feminism. Boston, MA: South End Press, 1981. 61-64, 112-113. Print.

2. Hofstadter, Richard. The paranoid style in American politics, and other essays.. [1st ed. New York: Knopf, 1965. Print.

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