What Kind Of Bride Mom Will You Be?

She is supportive, encouraging and anxious; she is her daughter’s best friend or competitor. She may be even playing the role of a ‘father’ due to circumstances beyond her control.

My mum my ‘wedding planner’

Traditionally the mother of the bride played the wedding planner’s role and today some mums still take the centre stage in planning their daughters’ weddings. Every mother wants to be involved and for some, it is the only way to scrutinise the wedding budget and ensure that all the important details are fully covered.

 On the other hand, planning a wedding should not be solely the bride’s mother’s role even if she is financing the wedding. She must be willing to respect the wishes of her daughter and her spouse if they want to plan their own wedding or take on a wedding planner to assist them. Her role is to advice and support throughout the planning process.

Her wedding dress

Are you the traditional or modern mum when it comes to helping your daughter to make that very important wedding dress choice?  Every bride has a fantasy about her wedding dress and taking her mum along to shop for her dream dress can either make or mar her day.

Allow her to go with her own intuition and make her own choices even if you have your eyes set on a different style. Always remember that it is her day but you can give honest and kind guidance if you believe her choice may be contradicting certain moral restrictions.

Aso ebi

The mother of the bride’s role in selecting the Aso ebi within the Nigerian wedding setting cannot be contested except in rare circumstances. Nevertheless it is only reasonable and thoughtful that you also seek your daughter’s advice and approval before choosing the fabric since it’s her wedding and she ought to have a say in every aspect of the details too.

A bride may not agree with the cost of the Aso ebifabric because her friends may not be able to afford it. On the other hand, her mother may insist on picking the expensive range due to her friends’ status.

A thoughtful mum would weigh both options and source an alternative and affordable fabric for her daughter’s friends.

Sit down and enjoy the special moments

The mother of the bride’s joy on the day cannot be over emphasised. She is the perfect hostess and the one who makes sure that every guest is happy and comfortable. But who will ensure that you get your own special treat too?  As a mother of the bride, engage a wedding coordinator to take care of the day’s stress while you sit back and enjoy your daughter’s beautiful moment.

My tips

Be the perfect mother on your daughter’s big day; aim to build a loving and selfless relationship with your daughter throughout the planning period so that you can both share your ideas and dreams for the wedding.

Be the spiritual guardian during the planning period, be there to guard and support when everything seems impossible and be willing to offer your shoulders when emotions sets in.

Give your daughter “something old” perhaps a gift your own mother gave you or something you have kept for many years, it doesn’t have to be expensive, just a great keepsake for her to reminisce for years to come.