Tragic life issues on relationship and marriage!

She has heard a lot of them that she became scared. She resolved not to welcome any... She shut the door to her suitors. Hmmmmm….

Still in her single-hood, she kept attending wedding, child-naming ceremonies, marriage anniversaries, friends and well-wishers get-together and what have you? Just to keep company which later offered her a sense of inferiority complex. Clock keeps ticking. Men keep knocking... Yet, she’s still in the valley of decision. Do you , in any way, feature in this picture? I suppose you are not. However, listen to this: “FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN! It can stop or pull one back, turn ones focus to hocus pocus and makes one to become a locust to ones destiny”. Many fail to understand that life is all about opportunities. The link between the RICH and the POOR is OPPORTUNITY. These opportunities are never problem-free or challenge-free guaranteed. You've got to dare… Life is like a coin with two sides. 

Life, itself, is risky. And God who gave you life has given you what you need to scale through. So, do not fear… not even the UNKNOWN simply because you had about it. What you don’t know cannot harm you. Just forge ahead, however, let God be the HEAD. Sooner than later, you will be glad you did.

 The BEST: It’s in U!

A Letter To All Single Ladies

Dear Friend,

Meeting a man of your dream is like a dream-come-true, but the reason why most women end up meeting “men of their nightmares” is because they don’t really know what they want in the “man of their dreams”.

Listen, it makes no sense to say I want a car; you might get a Volvo—at least, it is still a car. Don’t be generalistic in your desires. Take for example, if you want an Element Jeep, and you say you want an Element Jeep, you might get a colour you don’t want, but if you are specific and say I want a RED ELEMENT HONDA JEEP, you end up getting a RED ELEMENT HONDA Jeep. [Same things go with every aspect of your life.]

Tell me, can you recognize the picture of the man of your dreams that you have in your mind’s eyes? How tall should he be? What age bracket? What character should he possess? What features? What body size? What other features do you want? Do you have a comprehensive list of the man you truly want in your life, written down somewhere?

It is not about visualizing it, it is about writing it down and seeing him in your mind’s eyes. It is about having him in paper and ink and reading this every day, also having it where you can see it every time you wake up and every time you go to bed.

And you know what you have succeeded in doing? (I know you don’t know, so I will tell you), you have succeeded in recognizing him when you meet him.

You see, many other single ladies have met the men of their dreams in passing without knowing it. It is because they have no sign whatsoever that points out that this is the man of their dreams.

But the moment you have every minute details of the man of your dreams penned (written) down; when you meet him, you would know him and that will help you so much in choosing the right man and avoid the headache most marriages today endure.

Marriage is supposed to be fun and exciting and void of headaches and endurances OR WHAT DO YOU THINK?

HOW TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOUR SPOUSE/PARTNER (1)

Text: Hebrew 10: 24 (MSG, NLT) 

Marriage is the fussing of two people to become one. This implies that there is compatibility between the two people, though it will be painful, it requires a lot of effort and adjustment to make in order to make it work. What you should ensure is the daily growth of both of you.

Relationship requires bringing out the best in your partner and this involve deep thinking. It doesn’t happen by default. When you bring out the best in him or her, it results to fruitfulness, joy, honour, happiness, fulfilment, success and victory. So, you need to be innovative, come up with ideas and ways you can achieve this and invest in your partner. 

Proverbs 27:17-1 

One of the reasons why some men have challenges in their marriages is because they are not tending their gardens. Your spouse is like a garden which you must take good care of and invest in her so that you can enjoy the fruits she will produce.

If you are in courtship with someone, if you or your partner cannot say after some time that you are better and improved that he or she met you; it means you or your partner aren’t investing (enough) in your relationship. Relationship is a hardwork and you should labour together.

You must love your partner more than you first met him or her. This is because you must have been discovering each other all along. In order to help your partner in knowing you well, even when he or she annoys you, you should behave well and learn a better way of doing things. Make sure you always resolve your differences so that they don’t degenerate into crises. When he or she offends you, make sure you bring the best out of him or her even with the offence. This is an act of genuine and sincere love. Before you act or do anything in your relationship ask yourself this question: “will this action bring out the best out of him or her?”

Nobody has ever divorced because they cannot meet the needs of their spouses. They divorced because their own needs are not met. Because love involves bringing out the best out of your partner, you should seek for how you can invest in him or her and do things primarily in his or her interests. This is why relationship requires lot of patience. whatever you desire to see in your spouse make sure you work it out in him or her. Make sure all you do is to bring out the best in him or her. As you work your growth, ensure you are always on the same page working together.

RESULTS OF BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN YOUR PARTNER

The following are some of the results of bringing out the best in your partner.

1.      It brings out the best in you:- Whatever you sow you will reap. What you should do or ways you should react should be in such a way as to bring out the best in him or her. By doing so he or she will not only grow, you will grow as well.

2.      It helps your both of you to fulfill God’s work or assignment for your relationship. This enhances the fulfillment of what God called both of you to do.

3.      It creates a wonderful environment for your children to grow. They will observe both of you and desire to grow and become like you.

4.      It creates an atmosphere of love that will help your growth. Love is a decision you take which requires lots of effort. This effort can only be achieve when you submit yourself to the Holy Spirit. It is not a feeling you feel when you feel something you have never felt before. It is a choice you must make to the patient even when situations don’t warrant it. Remember, bringing out the best in him or her requires patience.

“Patience” means “bearing pains and trials very calmly without any complain.” That is why the first thing love is, is patience. It is a very vital means of bringing out the best in your spouse. Make sure that you don’t always seek your right but the right of your partner. Make sure you firstly discover your values, focus and vision in life. You need to know his or her values as well so that you can know where you will have to invest in his or her life.

Whatever you do to him or her, do as though God is working in you and through you to him or her. As His representative, you should always do good because God will never do wrong.

No relationship leaves you the same way it met you. It will either make you better or bitter. So, work hard to build your relationship. Where to start is to begin in Jesus Christ and build a strong foundation in a strong relationship with Him. If anything goes wrong along the way, you can always call on Him and get back to the foundation to seek for help.

HOME BUILDERS CONFESSION

FOR SINGLE LADIES : "I declare that I am rightly positioned to 'be located by my life partner. I am at the right place at the right time, doing the right things at all times." FOR MARRIED WOMEN: I am a noble wife. My worth is far more than that of rubies. My husband has confidence and trust in me and he lacks nothing. I am good to him for all the days of my life. (Proverbs 31:10-12)

Welcome 2013...

A special welcome to each and every one of us. . .

Seeing a new year is not beans.

While we are celebrating, we also want to make this year a more worthwhile one. . . Now let's put aside the embedded hypocrisy in us, and go for what we want this year. That you visit this section means that you love to love, you love romance, and that you seek better ways in improving your loving ability and capability. . . You want a better love life. I know I'm right so don't even try to deny that fact. In fact, we all do. At this stage of our lives, majority of the regular visitors to this section are on the threshold of settling down as evidenced by the serious relationships they are in.

Now, by Iron, Iron itself is sharpened. This means that it is up to each and everyone of us to help each other out. Sharing your experiences and giving advice when due. Maintaining positivitism should be our main objective. . . I see that some self acclaimed warriors just type out advice for the sake of registering their presence on a thread. Advising people with what they have not seen, what they cannot do, and what they cannot wish themselves.

Correct these dumb ones when you see them, please.

Give others practical advice that they can use. Advising others in the right way actually strengthens your own relationship, cos if you are in a relationship, or have been in a sweet one, you know what you are talking about, and you know the feeling of being in one, so your advice would be more beneficial than the advice given out of impulse, by our keyboard warriors.

Some have had a distasteful 2012 in terms of relationships, no doubt. This is a new year and an opportunity for you to forget the past and move on. Be a fresh and positive person. Wallowing in pain and regret of what could have been is detrimental to your future ambitions. There is a reason why things turn out the way they do sometimes. A positive and optimistic person would always want to see a disappointment as a blessing, and would look for avenues to actualizing those blessings. But how would you find them if you are so engrossed and entrenched with your ex, that you keep thinking of her and what she did to you, creating threads about her all the time, talking about her all time? How on God's green earth will your ministry move on to the permanent site?? If it breaks up, it wasn't meant to be. Move tha hell on!

Seek for ways to make him/her happy. There are over 7,000,000,000 people in the world, but you chose him/her as number one. You had numerous choices, but you chose to ask her out. You had numerous other choices, but you said "yes" to him. . . Make them happy. There are fools here on Nairaland that will seek to pass their frustration on life to you. Will you allow them? Will you allow them decide for you how best to love your special one? You alone know him/her better, more than anyone else. You know what makes them happy. Do it!!! A smile on their face will bring a smile on your face too.

Nothing is too much to do for the one you really love. In an attempt not to be a mugu, many people have lost out on love, forgetting the real essence of Giving. . . Do not let that be your portion this year. Do what you know is right, and stick to it!

Do not forget that you can find love anywhere. . ! I can categorically tell you that i have seen and heard people, married who find love in strange places, and are enjoying the union till date. However finding love depends on your ability to recognize love when you see it. Some individuals are so dense that even when love is staring them in the face, they'll ignore it and keep complaining. . . Smh.

There are subconscious signs that are visible or rather, discernible, when an individual is in love with you. Try not to ignore those seeming infinitesimal signs, and also avoid the he/she-must-be-the-first-to-ask-me-out mentality. That is so "tataish"! This is 2013 for chrissakes. . . Forward is the way. Don't take us back to 1993!

To those of us searching for love, may we find it and be happy in it.

To those of us in love, may we continue to strengthen those bonds of love, seeking to take that sweet ministry to the permanent site.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. . .

It starts with you. Positivism is infectious. I want to see positive testimonies 365 days from now. . .

Happy 2013 once again.

It is well. . .

10 To-dos For A Healthy Relationship In 2013

Do you know that it is not difficult to have a healthy relationship. What is difficult is to remember always that you do not want the relationship to go haywire. So you tend to give in to certain situations, fight with your partner, argue over things that do not make much difference, allow your ego to get the better of you and eventually ruin the relationship which meant so much to you at the onset. It is, therefore, essential to always keep in mind that no matter what happens you should know whether the issue at hand is something more crucial than the relationship itself. Listed below are 10 rules for a healthy relationship you should know, especially for those who aspire to get an healthier relationship this 2013 .

1. Be fair
Fairness is mandatory. You cannot expect to have an upper hand in a relationship nor should you allow him to be too demanding and give in to his expectations without thinking. If you allow him to mold you as per his whims, remember that the relationship is not a healthy one. The same holds true if you are unfair in your expectations, demands and arguments.

2. Be honest
Honesty is the best policy – if not everywhere, definitely in case of relationships. You cannot afford to lie to your partner because trust forms the foundation of a healthy relationship. Being truthful also earns you respect in his eyes.

3. Curb over-expectations
Do not have too many expectations from your partner. Remember that he is a normal human being and even he has dreams and aspirations, and his sole purpose in life cannot be to fulfill every wish you have. Not that he can be lackadaisical about your needs, but you cannot have unrealistic expectations from him because that is not what a healthy relationship is all about.

4. Give space
One of the very important rules is to give him space and most definitely, not nag. When you are in a relationship, yours and his personal lives do not cease to exist. Spending quality time together is undoubtedly important, but sticking together all the while is a bad idea. You also have your friends and family who have not disappeared!

5. Forgive
To err is human. Your partner can make mistakes – it is very normal. Even you can make mistakes. But if you want to maintain a healthy relationship, you should be able to look over the little faults that your partner has because nobody is perfect. Learn to forgive and watch how beautiful your relationship becomes.

6. Have fun
Being in a relationship does not mean that you have to be very serious always. Have as much fun as you can together because these are the memories that will help you build a stronger and healthier relationship with the person you love.

7. Have a sense of responsibility
Always have a sense of responsibility. Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that all your responsibilities now fall on him. No doubt that he should be responsible but it does not give you the excuse to act irresponsibly. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your life, health and well being.

8. Do not be over-dependent
Being dependent on a partner is nice, but being over-dependent kills the beauty in a relationship. It then becomes more of an obligation which no one likes to bear. Do not make yourself an obligation for your partner because in such a case, he will not want to be with you any longer. Be independent, stand on your own feet, and you will earn more love and respect in his eyes.

9. Listen
You should know how to listen. Avoid the tendency to talk relentlessly without giving your partner scope to talk. Listening is a quality that makes you earn more respect in his eyes and he knows that you will be there to listen when he talks.

10. Express your love
Last but not the least, you should express your love often. Say ‘I love you’ often. Expressing affection by kissing, hugging and holding hands will perk up your relationship and make it healthier with time.