10 THINGS THAT MAKE A MAN ATTRACTIVE TO A WOMAN

It’s a common gripe amongst men that it’s always the same type of guys that get the girl: rich, tall, dark and handsome. Talk to women though, and they will nearly always disagree. Looks are on many women’s lists of attractive qualities, but what constitutes good looks varies considerably from girl to girl. Money too, does not appear as high as you might think, if at all, on most girls list, so let’s take a look at ten of the things that girls say really attract them to a man:

1. Romance is not a thing of the past

A sense of romance is a big thing for most women. They want to be swept off their feet by a prince charming and they want to be treated like a lady. So guys don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, flowers, chocolates and love poems are not a thing of the past!

2. Being generous with what you have is attractive

While money may not be a big thing, being generous with what you have is. It’s not just about buying gifts for the girl though, being kind and generous to others is also an important trait that women like to see in a man.

3. A great sense of humour

What makes a man attractive to a woman? Humour. If a guy can make a girl laugh, then he’s halfway there! A sense of humour appears on nearly every girls list. It makes everything else seem to go away and, even if the guy screws up, laughter will make it seem less important.

4. A touch of class and a drop of sophistication

Most girls don’t want a snob, but they do appreciate a little sophistication sometimes. A guy doesn’t need to be a wine connoisseur, for example, but he should at least know that downing a bottle of beer and then belching, in a swanky restaurant, isn’t the right thing to do.

5. Self confidence and some decision making

A man with self-confidence will help put a woman at her ease. What girls certainly don’t want is a guy who is so nervous, that he wouldn’t even say boo to a goose, and who is going to leave all the decision making up to somebody else.

6. A well groomed man (Forget worn-out jeans, old sneakers and a three day growth of stubble…)

A girl wants to be proud to be out with her man, so simple grooming is important too. Worn-out jeans, old sneakers and a three day growth of stubble might be comfortable, but they won’t help a guy attract a girl.

7. Passion is hot! Aimless meandering through life is not!

Girls are not attracted to guys who meander through life aimlessly they want some passion and some conviction. That could be a passion for work, for a hobby or for a sports team but, come on! They have to care about something.

8. Willingness to learn and the drive to improve

Another one of important points on what makes a man attractive to a woman is his willingness to learn. We could have headed this point, intelligence, but then that would have been misleading, because it’s not having the brain of an astrophysicist that matters, it’s the willingness to learn. Having the drive to improve and to learn new things, is a very attractive trait in a man.

9. Men who like children

It’s a scientific fact that women are drawn to men who have an affinity with children. This doesn’t necessarily have to mean a man who wants to have his own family tomorrow, but a man who can relate to children does seem to appeal to the nurturing side of a woman.

10. Looks (but they are in the eye of the beholder)

Looks do matter, but not the tall, dark handsome type. The looks that women find attractive can vary incredibly. Some girls love a bald man, while others like thick, flowing hair. Some girls have an absolute aversion to facial hair, while others love beards. Looks is here in our list, but what girls find attractive, really, is in the eye of the beholder.

What makes a man attractive to a woman? Feel free to share your opinion.

Stay happy!

10 Obvious Fact To Know When A Guy Is Flirting With You

Have you ever wonder how to know if that nice guy is flirting with you? There are a few proven ways that can tell you if he is interested in you. While some people says it’s difficult to read body language at times, it’s possible if you know where to start. Having read a few books about body languages and psychology of men, I will be sharing with Us some 10 ways that men unconsciously and even consciously let you know that they like you. Take a look, see what you see and maybe you might have ignored the signs. 

Happy reading!

1. Lovely smile

A lovely smile is actually a good sign and, when it comes to flirting, it’s one of the surest signs he is interested in you. If you notice that he is smiling at you, there’s a good chance he likes you and wants to approach you. Maybe he is shy, so why not show him your confidence and courage by approaching him first? Of course, if you like him. After all, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you approach a man first. Just smile back, initiate a conversation with him and don’t try to play hard to get. Playing hard to get is a great boost, but often it’s a big turn off for guys.

2. Shy blush

Perhaps you know how it’s difficult to flirt with shy guys, but it doesn’t mean that you should avoid such type of man. If you notice that a guy blushes around you, this is one of the most obvious signs he is trying to flirt with you. However, not only do shy guys blush, any guy can actually blush when he sees a beautiful girl. Blushing is a bodily function that we can’t control and if he blushes around you, he certainly likes you.

3. Eye contact

This sign is a little bit tricky, but surely worth paying attention to. Eye contactis important during communication and we need to use this form of body language as often as we can. Depending on how long a man holds an eye contact with you, you can find out whether or not he likes you. If he holds an eye contact with you for longer than an average person, it might be a sign he is interested in you. We all make an eye contact when flirting, right? It’s the same for guys. If a guy holds a short eye contact, he might also flirt with you, he is just a bit shy.

4. Mirroring

You might want to ask what is mirroring?. The thing is sometimes men mirror woman’s actions without even knowing it.Mirroring is another sign he is flirting with you. This ranges from mirroring blink rates to mirroring manner of speaking. For instance, you are laughing and he is laughing as well. The thing is, it’s natural for us to mirror something we love. Besides, a lot of singles dating websites advise guys to use mirroring technique when flirting with girls, maybe your crush does this too.

5. Hands on hips

If he stands with his hands on the hips or places the thumbs in the belt loops, chances are that he might be interested in you. This way, he is trying to show you he is confident man and simply true macho. I personally don't like it when guys uses this way while flirting with ladies, but still it's one of the signs he is truly flirting with you. 

6. A flirting touch

If your crush touches you, it’s definitely a sign he likes you. But, when a guy touches you accidentally, this is absolutely another sign to watch for. It means the guy is trying to get your attention and find any excuse to continue conversation with you. Do you like that guy? If yes, flirt back! Most girls ignore this important sign, but you shouldn’t do it. After all, he might be your hubby!

7. Head Tilts

The way a man tilts his head can also signify that he likes you. If he tilts the head towards you, this means he’s listening attentively to each word you say. This also means he’s really attuned to what you are talking about and he’s really interested in conversation with you. I love that amazing feeling when a man is listening to me. I always appreciate it, even if I’m not interested in that man.

8. Dilated pupils

Sometimes our eyes give us away when we don’t want them to. When we are attracted to someone or something our pupils dilate and they become larger. When we don’t like someone or something, our pupils contract. If you notice that the eyes of the guy keep dilating, it’s one of the most obvious signs he adores you and is highly interested in you.

9. Raised eyebrows

You crush may hide his eyes when he is around you because he likes you. He can keep his eyebrows a little bit raised as well. If his eyes are widened and his eyebrows remain raised while you’re talking, this is definite sign he is flirting with you. Watch for it and you’ll surely see it!

10. Fidgeting

Do you fidget when you are around the guy you like? I’m pretty sure you do and it’s okay. You are just nervous and it’s actually a good nervous. It’s all about expectation since you don’t know whether or not he is interested in you. If you see him fidgeting, this is because he’s interested in you and he is a bit nervous to start conversation with you.

Now that you’re aware of the signs he is flirting with you. Am guessing you won't let those signs slip away the next time you are with someone you might be interested in. Do you know any other signs of flirting that I should have added to this list, we will be glad to add to the list. 

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How To Know He/She Is The Right One

Having read this on a friend blog earlier today, I felt it will be greedy of yours thusly not to share in this nugget, which I believe will be of vital value to someone out there... Our Readers. I hope we all have a good resting week. As you read, do not forget to share, and drop your comment. Enjoy!

A few unsuccessful relationships into your dating life and you begin to wish there was some kind of physical sign to show you when you’ve met the right person. Whether that’s an actual sign that flashes over their head, or some sort of badge the person in question has to wear, we’re not sure. But if only, right?

We’ve done some research, and no one’s invented this yet. But, we know there are some sure fire – but subtler – ways to know whether your partner is for keeps. It’s far too easy to persuade yourself that Mr/Ms Right Now is Mr /Ms Right because they’re in the right place at the right time, and they seem ok. But in reality, you’re dooming yourself to failure with that approach. Your relationship with The One should feel completely right – after all, you’re probably looking to spend the rest of your life with them.

This isn’t a shopping list of the type we joke about with friends; ‘she should have long legs’ or ‘he should have dark brown eyes’. It’s about the things that really matter for a long-lasting, happy relationship:.

1. You trust each other 

Trust is an essential pillar in any relationship. You have to trust each other to make the right decisions about your relationship. If there’s no trust, everything else is irrelevant. Ask yourself if you trust your partner will always do the right thing by you. If the answer’s yes, then you’re ahead of the curve.

2. Your relationship makes you both better people

A relationship is a partnership, full of shared experience and built on a foundation of mutual support. Your relationship should make you want to be – and actually be – a better person. At the same time you should also be able to confidently say you encourage your partner to be a better person too. Whether this is in their career choices, leading a healthy lifestyle, taking up new hobbies or calling relatives more often, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you make a visible, positive impact upon each other.

3. Your share the same ideas about how to live your lives

People love to say ‘opposites attract’ and in the early days of a relationship this is very true. After all, who doesn’t love the excitement of the unknown? But, when you’re thinking long term, you want to be thinking about someone who has the same life view as you. This can be anything – from a desire to settle in the country with a nice house and 3 kids, or a dream of giving it all up to move to Australia and live on a ranch – it doesn’t matter, as long as your ideas converge. The same goes for your spiritual beliefs, sense of humour and even your intellect. Compatibility on these levels will ensure a long future together.

4. You laugh together

Forget all that stuff about amazing sexual chemistry (though that’s great), or whether you both like cheese. Your ability to have fun together and laugh at the same things is incredibly important. For one thing, if you can have fun together just ‘being’ (i.e. without spending money, or going somewhere special) it’ll stand you in great stead in the tough times. For another thing, there’s nothing like laughter to bring a couple together. It can break the frostiest of moods, and best of all it’s free!

5. You communicate

Communication is right up there with trust in a relationship. Do you feel you can talk to your partner when something is bothering you? Do you feel like you can share your deepest secrets with your partner? If this person is going to be The One, then you’re going to need to answer yes to both those questions. Similarly, do you have the capacity to speak in a caring, non-judgemental way, even when your partner has done something to really rile you? By doing so, you show your deep compassion for your partner that can’t be suppressed by the irritations of everyday life.

-via RomancemeetsLife

Hope you enjoy, don't forget to share, comment and Like! Till then ciao, have a splendid start of the week tomorrow (Monday). 

Five signs To Note If Your Lady Is Really Into You!

Having recently consulted some astute researchers, I am please to share with us some of the result I have discovered some of the surest signs to know if she love you and really want to spend the future with you. 

You have met this hot lady in a miniskirt. You almost cricked your neck to have a glance at her.  She is waddling like a lame duck.  Omg you whispers, she is the woman of your dreams, just the perfect woman you want to have. Let’s just say, you hope of kissing away that shadow of bachelorhood and spending the rest of your life with her. And what do you do? You complimented her and use the slimest opportunity to ask for her number. In no time you became friends. 

After days, months and even years of dating, you are still oblivious whether she got a "Liking" for you. Well, I did ransack through my mind. Worry no more as I will be sharing with you, the basic signs to watch out for to know that lady is into you, and do like you as much as you do. Please enjoy! 

First thing you notice is: 

She will spare time for you

You’ve exchanged contacts and soon you realize she kept your number like an artifact in that museum (read phonebook). She doesn’t bother dialing you instead she has pushed the ball to your court. There is this cliché that women are good in juggling with so many tasks at a go. Henceforth, no matter how busy a woman might be, she will always be there for you.

She then; 

Introduces you to people around her

At nascent stages of your courtship, she will introduce you to her friends. She is not ashamed of having you as part of her life. You know you have hit the bull’s eye when she introduces you to your brother-in-law elect or even her mother.

She will talk to you

You can gauge her commitment through how she treats you. Is she taking for a ride? Does she respond to your short text messages? Well, if it a resounding no...Call your shots. Don’t waste your precious time building magnificent castles in the air. There 70% chance there is another man in her life, so boof off. 

She likes what you like

She knows the genre of food, the perfume or even hairstyle you like. No Naija men adores a woman that exposes so much of her feminity. (Please note that if they tell you otherwise know that they are lying at you). He’s just enduring through this hell of the stench from what he sees. They believe a virtuous woman won't go about dressing naked exposing her "asset" to the world. Anyway this is story for another day. When she is afraid of losing you, she will sacrifice a lot- like absconding that good-for-nothing hairstyle.

 Future 

Are you part of her future? Or has she relegated you to be her escort man accompanying her to (her) Mr. Right? Well, this tale-tale way that you need to watch out. A woman who suggestively talks of plans of starting a family means you hold her keys to a tomorrow. And a promise of a future together. 

I hope this basic fundamentals will guide your path into knowing if that lady truly and really wants a future with you. If you have any more additional opinion, drop your comment and we sure be willing to add to the list. 

Thanks!

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Are You Dating A Player?

How do you know if you are dating a playing, or if the guy you are with is a big time player. Well, Fran Creffield shares with us a few note on that. I hope you enjoy and share with friends, colleague and loved ones. 

Read on:

A player is usually very deceptive and manipulative. When one enters your life you could be forgiven for believing that they are a gift from the gods – that is exactly what they want you to think. Sadly this thin veil of deception often hides low self worth, an inability to form secure attachments and inevitably heartbreak when the deception is exposed.

People who have been single for a long time, are lonely or who are struggling with their own self-esteem are particularly vulnerable to falling for a player but really no-one is exempt. Here are some of the main warning signs which can help you spot a one of these slippery characters if you are unfortunate enough to date one.

In the beginning….

The beginning of a relationship with a player will usually feel like a whirlwind and you may be knocked off your feet by their charm, enthusiasm and interest in your life. They will work hard to make you believe, very quickly, that your life has no value without them.

They will endeavour to be in your life right away helping with problems and offering to be there for you in all sorts of situations. Before long they are in the centre of your life and being charming, endearing and overly helpful with other people as they try to ingratiate themselves with your family and friends too. Look out for boasting, unsubstantiated claims, a lack of information about themselves and flashy or grandiose plans – if it all seems too good to be true, it probably is.

As time goes on…

The aim of a player is to win your affection and the mark that this has happened is often that the relationship becomes sexual – they have achieved their conquest. For others it will be when you say you love them, or in extreme cases, agree to marry them. Whatever the challenge is, once it is achieved the tide turns very suddenly as he or she backs off and you are left wanting. This will turn the tables and you may find yourself spending more money, time, energy and effort than you would normally to lure them back – maybe even compromising your own principals and standards to do so.

You may also begin to realise that you don’t really know very much about them – like where they live or work – and when you start to check out the things they have told you none of it really seems to stand up.

Why are people players?

Most players are looking for a fix for their fragile ego. They will say all the things you want to hear and will feel euphoric with your response because their ego will have got its much needed feeling of power and control. Fundamentally they are scared and feel unlovable so they are drawn to many intense, short relationships rather than longer, more sustained attachments which would expose their vulnerability.

By using their charm, wit and skill to lure you into their trap they will get a temporary feeling of euphoria which – like an addict who needs a fix – gives them relief which soon wears off. They then feel compelled to leave and repeat the whole process again with their next victim – the thrill of the chase; the euphoria in succeeding; the downer when it wears off and the compulsion to do it again even if they are aware that their behaviour is damaging to themselves and those whose lives they touch.

In the end…

The world is full of players – in politics, industry and the arts as much as in everyday life. To a certain extent we are all playing – trying to negotiate relationships and situations so that we get our needs met and feel autonomous in our lives.

A player in the romantic arena is a different matter because they are playing with people’s hearts and emotions and exploiting people’s vulnerability to get what they want. No one wants to be left feeling like a fool and the fear of this stops many people from dating at all.

A much better strategy would be to learn to not give your heart away because someone flatters you and makes you feel a million dollars. Take time to get to know them and listen to your intuition. If someone is overly brash, confident, pushy or asks you to do anything that you feel uncomfortable about – e.g. loaning them money when you have just met – don’t be afraid to cut contact and call customer services.

Culled: RomanceMeetsLife

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How Do You Know You're Good In Bed?

If you are great in bed and have the best moves, then your man will find you very sexy and it will be difficult for him to keep his hands off you. 

Am I good in bed? This question has been nagging you at the back of your mind since the first time you made love. We say love-making is almost like an art! An art you have to perfect over time and be great at it. But how to find out if you have achieved it or not? Fret not as we tell you about some signs that scream out loud the fact that you drive him crazy in bed. 

Hand clenches: Just notice if your man is clenching his hands and legs when you are making love. If he is, then you are just doing the right thing to your man. Kiss him again and again at the same place and watch him go crazy. 

Repeat performance: You have just made love and your man wants to go at it again. Well it’s a big sign ladies that he is unable to resist you. If he wants you again and again, then it only means one thing – yes you have some rocking moves in bed! 

Behaviour post love-making: If your man acts distant just after you have made love or just hugs you lightly and rolls off to sleep, just know that there is something wrong. But if he canoodles you and holds you tight and shares a romantic kiss or two, then he has feelings for you and you are too good in the sack. 

Flirty afterwards: He keeps on sending flirty text messages the whole day, is naughty and just can’t stop sending you naughty emojis. It’s love girls or shall we say deep lust. 

Can’t stop talking about it: There can be two scenarios, either your man will get on with the daily chores or else will be smitten by you and will discuss every small detail about the passionate night. He will talk abou those kisses, that touch and how you drove him wild. Just know that you are a sex goddess who has just given him the best night ever. 

Mr. Touchy: If you are great in bed and have the best moves, then your man will find you very sexy and it will be difficult for him to keep his hands off you. If he is touchy the whole day and finds reasons to touch you, kiss you and get naughty, just know that you are really good in bed. 

Animal instinct: Men can be lukewarm during sex and at times passionate. But if you bring out the animal out in him every time you make love, then know that you have some great moves in bed. Between the sheets if your man is completely losing himself then you are amazing. Are you grinning already? 

He confesses the truth: Men don’t tell it until they feel it. If he feels you are amazing in bed and is truthful about it, you will know that you are the ultimate sex goddess. If your man accepts the fact that you know the art to make him feel the best, then just smile and be proud. 

He’s trying hard: Do you see your man trying new moves too? Is he struggling to keep up with you and invents new things to experiment in the bedroom. If he is trying hard to keep you satiated, then you are a sex diva and he is trying to get just as good as you 

It’s great for you too: You can never give your 100 per cent until you are getting some great moves too. If he is giving it all, then you get better too. With reciprocation comes love and satisfaction. You get better with your man trying as hard too.

7 Super Amazing Words To Use To Tell Your Partner You Love Them!

For me I get so irritated hearing the word "I Love You" repeatedly, I feel at a point repeated saying of the word makes the word to loss it's significance. However, for those who are like me who feel the same, if you don’t want to be repetitive and you are looking for some fantastic words to use instead of saying “I love you,” you’ve come to the right place. Sometimes we use the word “love” so often that it starts losing its meaning. If you’re you in the early stages of dating a man or a woman, it can be strange to say you love them, but you don’t want them to doubt your true feelings for them. So if you are not ready to say “I love you,” but you like your partner, try to use one of the words given below.
Best Words You Can Use Instead of Love

1. Devoted
When you tell your partner the word “devoted,” you show them that you would never intentionally hurt them or cheat on them. You show your partner that you really care about them, like them and you want to make them happy. This word will help your significant other trust you and know that you want to be with them. 

2. Cherish
If you can’t tell your partner that you love them, say that you highly cherish your relationship with them. This will show your sweetheart how much you care and like them. Although you are not saying “I love you,” you are still showing your partner that you love them and you will never betray them. 

3. Adore
This is one of the most romantic words you can tell your partner instead of “I love you.” Telling your partner that you adore them is so sweet and it shows that you like their personality and you are happy with them. Most of us use the word “adore” frequently, so it holds its wonderful meaning. 

4. Worship
Well, you should use this word with caution because you can scare off your partner without even realizing it. The thing is, the word “worship” is very powerful so it’s not recommended to use this word at the beginning of your relationship. However, if you have been together for a really long time (more than 2-3 years) and you are tired of saying “I love you” every day, saying “worship” is a wonderful way to show your emotions and impress your partner. 

5. Fancy
If you want to show someone you are interested in them, tell them you fancy them. This word won’t scare them off because it’s not as powerful as the word “love.” It’s actually a great word to say when you start dating someone since it does not suggest any kind of commitment. I think it’s a sweet word that we all should always keep in mind. 

6. Fallen
One of the best ways to express your feelings several months into a relationship is to tell your partner that you have fallen for them. Perhaps you are not ready to tell your partner you love them, but you want to show that you like them, the word “fallen” can help you. Saying that you have fallen for your partner is a perfect way to show your strong feelings. 

7. Smitten
You can tell your partner that you are smitten when you are not ready to tell them that you love them. This word has almost the same meaning as “love” and it’s a wonderful compliment to use only if you mean it, since this word says a lot. I’m sure your sweetheart will be happy to hear that you are smitten with them. 

There are many wonderful words you can use instead of saying “I love you,” and these are only a few of them. Do you know any other words to add to this list? Are you in love with someone.

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12 Things Ladies Do That Turns Off Guys In A Relationship

Why he doesn't like you? Why that guy dimmed his love for you? Why your guy changed all over a sudden? Why guys don’t fall for you? Why you are remaining single year to year?

This goes to all the ladies out there. Have you ever taken time to think of the reasons why that guy dumped you? Here are some important reasons why. 

1. You Lie Too Much - Guys aren't stupid. They can tell when they're being lied too. Don't try to hide who you are because you think a guy won't like the real you. You can't fool somebody forever and once the truth comes out he'll never trust you again. So be yourself to some guys who date you.

2. You Don't Appreciate The Little Things He Does For You - Some guys are horrible with expressing their feelings, but they try to in their own little ways. Sometimes it's something small like picking up a cupcake because they know you'll like it. Lots of times an act like this goes unnoticed, If a guy is trying to show you he cares and you don't see it he'll think you don't care or you don’t love him. Appreciate his efforts please.

3. You Text & Make Calls Too Much - Guys like to feel important. If you're on your phone the

whole time during dinner they'll feel like you don't care about them. The solution is to turn your phone off so you can give all your attention to him. Seriously, nothing is so important to having to always be texting. Think about it and stop it.

***NOTE: Some of these reasons are vice-versa. Some of the guys out there also do this. They should also borrow a leaf from these tips.

4. You're a Party Animal - Guys like to have fun, but they also like to chill out. If you're going out to bars and clubbing like thrice a week, soon your guy will get tired of it. First of all it’s not developmental at all and it’s wastage of time if overdone. So a guy will hate and dump you for that. If you want to be in a committed relationship you have to give up the crazy nights out. I am not saying your never party,but do it once in a while.

5. Showing That You Know Everything - Women are smart; we all know this, but some women think they know everything. Nobody likes a know-it-all. When you're constantly trying to prove to a guy that he's wrong it'll eat away at him. Even if you know you're right about something let it slide. I It's okay to let someone else have the glory.

6. Do Not Be Afraid To Eat - Here's a fact about this world: guys like to eat food. If you don't eat while he is, you'll make them feel awkward. You don't need to eat a cheeseburger and fries every day, but do more than have a side salad for dinner.

7. You Are Not Idependent Enough - If whenever life gets rough you run to your parents for help, it'll turn a guy off. It's good to have a support system, but if you're calling your mom because you broke a nail, because your guy never paid all the necessary bills, if he left insufficient money for l aunch at home, if he came back late, If he never ate the food you cooked… it shows you won't be able to handle the bigger problems when they come.

8. You Don't Work But You Want To Spend Like a Billionaire - If you want to shop all day long, you better have your own money to do it. Guys don't like having to sweat all day. Many ladies sometimes like competing, they like buying things that they won’t use simply because they don’t suit their standards. They like to poses it and full up their wardrobe simply because she saw her closest female friend with it. Guys dislike this; they will dump you because of being a big spender.

continue reading after the break....

9. You Need To Change Him - Guys like who they are. They are how they are for a reason, basically for a living. If he's a horrible dresser you can buy him a new shirt, but don't force anything on him. If he likes wearing pair of Jeans, T-shirts and sneaks, that is his style… Don’t try to change him to start putting on suits that he is not used to. Just love him the way he is. If you aren't happy with who he is, find somebody else that makes you happy. But remember some on can be so stylish but when he has no true love for you at heart.

10. You Never Decide Where To Eat Dinner From - If you're going out to dinner just make a choice and stick with it. Guys don't like making a decision and then hanging it and then changing it again. If you want to go to more than one place, there's always next weekend.

11. You Act Like The World Is Ending - There's nothing worse for a guy than when a girl acts like the world is ending because her favorite salad

 was out of stock when she went grocery shopping. Even if it means a lot to you try to let it go. Guys just blow things off and hope you will to.

12. Being So Friendly To His Friends - Guys don't make new friends often. The friends they have are for life. When you try to step in between a guy and his buddies all you're doing is creating a barrier between the two of you. A guy may dump you because of your being so close to his friends. He will feel insecure; he will get jealous and starts losing the trust hence leading to dumping you and even hating his friends for life. Don’t be into his friends so much; don’t communicate with them behind his back unless he is okay with it. Talk to them mostly when he is around with you.

Source: Naij.com

So share with us which one are you guilty of. 

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What Defines A Woman?

I am unashamedly feminine and very feminist. I beg to differ from the hard line approach but I won't hesitate to voice my discontent with being treated with less respect than i deserve. Of course, feminists rant about respect and all that so it is easy to shake your head and say "uh-oh, here they come. Another one yet!".

Today I am a little peeved about the way the society has pigeon holed women into its own narrow definition of womanhood. That a woman should be seen and not heard. That women should slavishly toe the line behind men, this  frankly it just makes me want to scream. What the hell... aint we taught that everyone is born equal...and that non is to be seen to be superior to the other. Or better still, didnt God himself made man and woman in His own imagine, where then does the ...lies. God in his wisdom would have created me attached to a man's side if he didn't want me to think like a human being, proffer solutions to world problems and help in society building. The reason for my anger, I have watched countless women drain themselves attending to their partner's needs while the said partner puts up his feet on a stool idly flicking through television channels even though the two of them just returned from chasing money or engaging in some energy draining venture together. I was listening to a documentary recently on Aljazeera, where a man who has been married to his wife for twenty years, turn over night to divorce her and kick her out of their home, the house they shared together, bringing in a sixteen year old teenager as a new wife. The anger in me persisted, when the so called man is a Muslim, and according to the him, he said he could divorce her if he thinks he is tired of her and then bring in another. In a nutshell, without full divorcing papers na so the woman pack her bags and luggage comot ooo. Am sure in a country with law and other, such wont have happened. The so called husband has even refuse to support her and the four children since she was kicked out over 6 months ago. She had to constantly run around him everywhere so he could give her allowances for the children. At the end there is no where to run for assistant. She is torn between how to care for her children   and the cruelty of her ex-husband.

While I am not averse to treating my man like a king, I reject being treated like a slave. I will tell you what defines a real woman. Her ability to manage the home, raise God fearing proper children AND CONTRIBUTE TO THE ECONOMY OF HER COUNTRY IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. Proverbs 31: 10-31.(*.....she perceives that her merchandise is profitable, her lamp does not go out at night").

Word up guys, it is never too late to help your spouse or partner accomplish her God given mission here on earth. it is for your own good because as intriguing as the slave-master routine is, it gets extremely boring and before long you start looking under strange skirts jeopardizing your happiness and peace.


In this woman case, what didnt she do right?

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Men Cheat, Women are Materialistic... Is it True?

Happy weekend to you, you and you. I hope the weekend is going as it were planned, if not... take a seat and read on as I bring to you another interesting write-up in our relationship and life segment. 

Am sure you are conversant with the statement:

“ALL men are chronically unfaithful.”
“Women are materialistic.”

These are two of the most common phrases in any conversation about relationships in all over the world. I’m exploring the validity of those statements.

While majority of  men complain about the materialism of today's modern women, apparently our women are totally consumed with thoughts of money; of course not all men cares about cash, well i think some still do.

Haven been opportune to visit other continent and meet with people of diverse race, ethnic and belief. I realise that the perception on Love and money in a relationship does not differ at all. For instance, in Nigeria where I am from, they’ll tell you that a Nigerian girl, especially the Lagos girl, falls in love with your wallet before she even looks at you. When I first heard this complaint, I felt so bad for our men. Poor kiddos, how could they cope dealing with these greedy materialistic girls? I mean I know I’ve definitely judged Nigerian girls harshly. College girls from struggling families have two hundred and fifty thousand Naira (plus) weaves, the latest smartphones, and expensive trips abroad, I know it’s their pocket-money doing all that. As I’ve grown older, I’ve gotten kinder, and less judgmental(here’s hoping though).

On the flip side, Nigerian women moan about the legendary infidelity of Nigerian men, Nigerian men can’t be trusted. Listening to the variety of stories about the men is absolutely petrifying; some get engaged to two women at the same time, others take mistresses on their honeymoon, placing them in the same hotel as their wives, while others maintain two families or sleep with the maids and nannies. Unfortunately, these stories are not fiction; we all have a few of them in our families or our close circle of friends. It’s enough to make a girl reconsider getting into this thing called marriage.

Even though I do not want to be judgmental, I  had experiences that have made me rethink who gets the blame in this messy situation. Recently a friend was talking about setting up a close friend of ours; apparently he had a number of single friends who would be ideal for her (Shola). Call me a skeptic, but I was surprised that he knew so many people who Shola could have fulfilling relationships with, not because she is difficult or anything of course. His answer was that they all had really well-paying jobs. Now don’t get me wrong, I would not want my to be with an ambition-less pauper, but I think there are many other qualities beyond a well-paying job that make someone a potential partner, like that pesky thing called compatibility. However, in his experience security is the first thing a Nigerian girl asks about.

Its also no surprise that, even while I was in Nigeria several years back, hustling the street of Abuja as a naive marketer, I’ve been on the receiving end of Nigerian men both young and old trying to throw money at me. Yet when you refuse their blatant offerings, and try to find out more about them, they are uncooperative but they’ll complain about materialistic women. I’ve heard multiple times that the majority of Nigerian women are unintelligent and unable to have decent conversations. This is generally said as a back-handed compliment to me, others in the same vein say things like “you have beauty and brains”, as though the two are incompatible. Apparently women just talk about movies, celebrities and make-up. Hearing this you would think these men are coming up with the solutions to Syria and Nigeria’s problems in their daily chats, lol!. Nah, generally they are discussing football, PS3 and if you are lucky, how to make money. I find these comments extremely insulting and not flattering in the least. I for one have never noticed a marked deficit in female intelligence among my friends and casual acquaintances, if the only women they encounter are unintelligent, the problem might be with their selection criteria not women in general. I’ve had as many terrible conversations with men as with women. This paragraph is brought on by a recent experience I had on a “date”, my date asked a question regarding some of my future academic pursuits. As I began to answer the question with the seriousness I felt it deserved, I noticed he wasn’t paying attention; he was looking down and chatting on his phone, how rude. This was the same guy who had previously commented on the lack of intelligent conversations. Ironic eh?

I’ve spent a good bit of time considering both angles and I’ve reached a conclusion, it’s truthfully a chicken and the egg situation. Are the women materialistic because they realize that’s all they can depend on the men for? Are the men unfaithful because they are with women who choose them for only for what’s in their pocket? Do men present the situation to be used through their own laziness? They rather flash their bank cards than spend time courting a women learning about her interests and what makes her tick. Do women simply utilize the opportunities presented to them by men? Are both men and women simply not just using each other?

After interacting with men and women, both at home and abroad. I’ve decided that this system is mutually beneficial for the active players. The men get bought women who are so desperate for money that they’ll do anything to stroke their man’s ego. These women will turn a blind eye to all their misbehavior, and accept crappy treatment from them. The women on their part have embraced the ideology of “it’s as easy to love a rich man as a poor man.” As long as they are kitted out in the latest designers, get to travel abroad and drive nice cars, life is good. I only feel bad for those who are genuinely searching for love, for that person that completes them. 60%  are looking to be married just to be, 30% consider marriage to be their meal ticket and the remaining 10% (probably an overly generous estimate) are sincerely searching for love. Yes, these statistic are just randomly thrown out from my brain, but I don’t think the results would be different if I performed a rigorous scientific study. I’d love to hear if y’all agree or disagree.

Have a blessed week.

-bosydeprincessa

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Marriage: To be Endured or Enjoyed, Whats Your Take?

It is a  noticeable trend that most singles are gradually slipping out of that idea of having a perfect relationship or a long lasting relationship or marriage or simply having a happy marriage.

They already have a preconception that all guys or ladies cheat and have already given their boyfriends, girlfriends or spouses that blank cheque of cheating and not to disappoint them, he or she makes full withdrawal.

Our values are changing, and our expectations from what God designed to be a bliss are being degraded.

Young people are opting for celibacy. They'll rather stay single that end up in that kinda marriage they find in the society. Happy today, punching bags the next. Couples are often changing to clients seeking divorce. This isn't God's blueprint.

I know people who are married and I 'believe' they are happy. They are the ones who don't tell you all men/women are cheats. They tell you marriages work. I'm not leaving out the fact that some people hide all their issues so well. There is just how far you can go hiding some things. If there is no love it will surely manifest.

All these ideas we already have are a result of our personal experiences. The marriages we have seen around us. It could even be our parents or what they have told us and made us believe about the concept of marriage.

What's your motive for getting married?

The question of purpose/motive is one question we fail to answer with respect to the things we do in life even asides marriage. When the purpose or use of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.

People go into marriages for the very wrong reasons or without having a good idea of why they are there.

I've heard people say they are old enough. If only age was enough to make you have a happy home. Although in our society, the pressure mounts (esp on ladies) as they approach their 30s.

Two people can't work together except they agree. But its sad that people go into marriages without an agreement on how they'll handle things. How they'll resolve issues. The leave the decision to 'when we get to the bridge, we'll cross it'

Sadly they both have personal bridge-crossing ideas and they are not willing to change. Knowing fully well that both parties were trained differently as they grew up.

Domestic violence, divorce, cheating are not part of God's plan for the marriage institution.
These days, couples easily go down that divorce road. Infact they have had it at the back of their mind before they even got into the marriage. 

It might not be a bed of roses. Even if it is remember beyond the floral parts of the rose, there exists thorns which can prick if not well handled.

God wants you to enjoy your marriage!

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Ladies: Issues That Could Prevent Singles From Getting Married!

In this part of the world many ladies might end up singles for life for numerous reasons. Major among these are:

1. Media exposure. - It is so disheartening how a lady will glue her eyes on a mobile phone from morning till night, only to raise it up to focus on TV to watch another celebrity entertainment channel. Tell, what else will dominate this lady’s mindset aside how to live a fake celebrity life being promoted on television channels?

2. Dislike For Cooking And Home Chores. - These days, many African ladies dislike cooking and home chores just because they have been totally brainwashed by movies showcasing men playing the role of women in a family, and due to excessive exposure to modern media that promotes gender-equality in a destructive manner,  aimed at destroying the unique African family setting that made our previous African marriages everlasting and envious to the western world. Now, with this attitude, how do you expect a African man to desire to marry when he knows he is only 'buying' more headache and trouble than helper for himself?

3. Excessive makeup. - This often turn most decent and serious-minded men off.  Most men see ladies who wear excessive makeup as prostitutes or wayward. A slight makeup is okay; try always to look simple and natural, it will attract better men, decent and serious-minded, except you are still living in your high school life and not thinking towards marriage.

4. Stop Giving Your Number Out To Every Joystick & Harry - No man would want to propose marriage to a lady whose phone is always talking and laughing with unserious calls. You may not be a playgirl, but he would judge you as one, and will likely flee at the slightest chance or disagreement.

5. You Don’t Bring Any Value Into The Life Of The Men You Date - because your best friend married without contributing anything to the man that finally married her, doesn’t mean it will work for you that way. Think, work towards equipping yourself so that you can be of value and also add value to his life to convince him that you are worth committing to. Adding value to his life isn’t by giving him money, or material gifts, nope….good counsels, being his best friend, helping him attain his goals in life, lending him moral, mental and spiritual support, and by not just being a liability that only bring requests and problems to be solved.

6. Your Friends Run Your Life. How do you expect to find a husband when you still allow your clique of friends to be dictating which man you meet, is worthy of your love and which is not? When will you wake up and face the fact that those your best friends even though they cherish you, wouldn’t want you to marry before them or to marry the best man?

7. You Package Yourself Wrongly- in your attempt to look sexy, adorable and maybe appealing to guys, you have derailed from appealing to appalling. In fact you look more whorish than modest; more distractive than attractive, and more disgusting than adorable. Your dressing style determines who gets attracted to you most times. If you dress high school, only high school-thinking guys will be attracted to you, and if you dress excessively sexy and provocative, only randy men will come to you for urgent satisfaction of their immediate s*x urge, so don’t be fooled by media hyping of certain kinds of dressing, they are meant for certain set of ladies you wouldn’t like to be associated with, be careful. Remember, not all clothes that look sexy are good for a seriously searching for a soul mate single lady.

8. You Lack Manner, Character, Wisdom and Good Home Upbringing- definitely, your ‘hot girl’, ‘pretty girl’, ‘sexy girl’ looks will win you so many men; both the good, and the bad, but your inner beauty, your character and manner are the things that will determine whether any of those men would stay or run after accomplishing their evil missions. In order words, do away with nagging, being possessive, challenging with men in negative ways, the mentality of ‘what a man can do a woman can do better’, a lie devil has used to deceive and destroy so many ladies today, please do away with it. 

Source: Before And After Marriage

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Thankful Monday :)

I have been playing with this idea for a while, been ruminating over it every now and then. Thankful Monday.. .nothing too serious...rather more light hearted. You know those everyday things that we probably think we don't need to be thankful for but rather nonchalantly tend to ignore, worrying about whats less important. Losing confident in one self because you might not be able to meet your expectation. Have you ever wondered that each one has a race, our inability not to meet up shouldn't hinder the fact that we need to be thankful.

Over time I have discovered there is no absolute finish line for everyone in the race of life. Our tracks are different and our durations are different. 

The only thing we have in common is the same empire. For instance, one person graduates @ age 20 and struggles for another 5 years to get a job, another might graduate @ 25 and get a job immediately. 

One can marry a virgin and wait for the next decade to have the blessings of children, another lady probably after having series of abortions in her past, becomes a mother almost immediately after marriage.

A fellow becomes MD @ 38 and dies @ 56, another becomes MD @ 55 and lives to 90. What a life! Life is full of twists, turns, ups and downs and many more surprises and disappointments.

Life offers each one of us different opportunities and once an opportunity is lost, it's gone forever except by the grace of God. It is up to each one of us to patiently prepare, wait, recognise and utilise every opportunity. We learn on the way. No one knows it all or has it better. There is a reason why we all don't fall @ the same time. It's so that when one is down, weak and discouraged, the other who is strong, can encourage and lift the other person.

God never promised that the road would be easy but he promised never to leave nor forsake us. Although life is a competition, let us learn to go easy on ourselves and trust that God is working it all out for good (even if it doesn't make sense now). I know that there is a time for everything but most importantly that " it will come to pass ". Whatever trials, challenges or down time , this too shall pass and in due course, u will be up and strong again to lift up those who maybe down around u......NEVER LOSE HOPE! #bosydeprincessa

I hope you have a splendid day as you take our time to dwell on this as you go around your busy schedule today. 

Thank You All!

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