Black Men, White Women, and Black Women: Part 2

I started this discuss about some thoughts on Culturally socialised  Bias’ with Specific Regard to Black Men, White Women, and Black Women being in relationship. Here is the concluding part of my story. I do hope you enjoy. 

Click here for the first part: http://www.bosydeprincessa.blogspot.com/2013/10/black-men-white-women-and-black-women.html?m=1

In, Ain't I A Woman Bell hooks proposes one theory for this common occurrence. 

"Explanations as to why marriages between white women and black men are more readily accepted than marriages between white men and black women can be found in patriarchal sexual politics. Since white women represent a powerless group when not allied with powerful white men, their marriage to black men is no greater threat to existing white patriarchal rule. In our patriarchal society if a wealthy white woman marries a black man she legally adopts his status. Accordingly a black woman who marries a white man adopts his status; she takes his name and their children are his heirs. Consequently, if a large majority of that small group of white men who dominate decision-making bodies in American society were to marry black women, the foundation of white rule would be threatened."

Furthermore, hooks notes that white women can be seen as a status symbol. Some black man beleive that unions with white women means they have achieved full assimilation and acceptance by whites.

"Those black men who believe deeply in the American dream, which is in essence a masculine dream of dominance and success at the expense of others, are most likely to express negative feelings about black women and positive feelings about white women. It is not surprising that the black male who finds self-affirmation on the terms set forth by white men would desire a white woman. Because he is living every moment of his life in competition with white men… In fact, if white men decided at any given moment that owning a purple female was the symbol of masculine status and success, black men in competition with white men would have to try and possess a purple female."

I’ve been told many times, by white man that I’ve try to seek out only in friendship, that they are not attracted to black women. This is due to our society’s large devaluation of black women. Black women are always portrayed in negative stereotypes, and to this day are still seen as unsuitable friends and undesirable sexual partners. There’s the asexual doting mammy, the promiscuous jezebel, the angry sapphire, and the black men dressed in female clothing so as to ridicule our clothing and speech, render us asexual, and “emasculate” the black man. Black men who have come to view the white women as a status symbol that must be “acquired” are those that both accept and and hope to affirm white patriarchy. Part of this system is a negative view of blacks, and a belief that men should have power over women (in this case white women).

One could argue that women are more open to interracial relationships because they have been taught to give men access to their bodies. Sexist conditioning teaches men that they have unlimited access to women’s bodies. Women are raised to believe they must attract a mate by being sexual available, subservient, and agreeable. Men have been raised to avoid women they precieve as being too forward. Events like the “Sadie Hawkins Dance”, or “The Backwards Dance”, highlight how unusual it is for women to ask out a man and that such phenomenons should only occur once a year. This could explain why relations between black men and white women are more common than white men and black women. White men are discouraged from pursuing relations with black women because this is seen as a threat to patriarchy. (See here)

Another argument has to do with western standards of beauty. Blonde hair and blue eyes are seen as the peak of attractiveness. Black men and women have both internalized this view on what is womanly and beautiful. While black women struggle to live up to this standard that shouldn’t apply to us, black men continually search for a women that’s society tells us is beautiful. The black men that claims to be exclusively attracted to white women are the same as white men who say they would never seek a relationship with a black women. Both have accepted the idea that white is better. Both have internalized this form of racism. One is hurt by it, while the other continues to reap it’s benefits. This is white-suprematist-capitalist-patriarchy.

Like hooks, I reject the idea that “black men who confess to loving white women and hating black women or vice versa are simply expressing personal preferences free of culturally socialized biases.” In addition, I don’t think that black men in relationships with white women are malicious racists. I do, however, think that one’s sexual preferences are not free from racist-sexist conditioning. Outside forces, largely the media, shape one’s sexual preferences more than one may think. It’s important for everyone to examine their biases, and attractions, and see that these things are hardly formed naturally.

Disclaimer, the intent of this piece was not to throw shade at anyone’s relationship or existence, but instead I hope to start a debate and self-examination.

Sources

1. hooks, bell. “Continued Devaluation of Black Womanhood, The Imperialism of Patriarchy.” Ain’t I a woman: Black women and feminism. Boston, MA: South End Press, 1981. 61-64, 112-113. Print.

2. Hofstadter, Richard. The paranoid style in American politics, and other essays.. [1st ed. New York: Knopf, 1965. Print.

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Black Men, White Women, and Black Women: Part 1

Some Thoughts on Culturally  socialised  Bias’ with Specific Regard to Black Men, White Women, and Black Women

I recently had a conversation with a white woman colleague of mine about interracial couples, specifically black men and white women, and how the reverse is far less common. Her theory on why white men and black women don’t date at the same rate was that maybe black men and white both have oppression to bond over. In her words, “both groups had to fight for their rights” (the right to vote, fair pay, education etc). She said that maybe black women and white men don’t date because they’re unable to bond, since straight white men have never had a similar struggle of which to relate, and that black women consider them to be their oppressors. I said, by that logic, wouldn’t black men and black women have even more in common, and even more to bond over? Having gone through a much more similar struggle?   

Furthermore, if their bond is based on “the struggle” then why is it that more privileged black men, by way of class and education, that tend to take white mates? While black men who have had less privilege, and can be considered to “really understand the struggle” tend to date black women. More so, it’s black men that have success, as defined by white patriarchy, that seek relationships with white women at a higher rate. Wouldn’t those black men choosing a mate based on “the struggle” seek out black women? White women and black men, while both oppressed are also both oppressors (both groups enjoy more privilege than black women by way of their respective race and genders). 

Black men have always been more eager than black women to pursue romantic relationships with whites. This has a long historical precedent. According to bell hooks, in her 1981 book Ain’t I A Woman, one of the reasons for the savage treatment (lynchings, castrations, wrongful imprisonment, firebombings, etc) of black men during reconstruction and onward was to prevent interracial marriages. The myth of the “black rapist” was perpetuated in part to scare white women from pursuing relationships with black men. This also gave whites an excuse to lynch black men, and control white women (claiming it was for their own protection). Along with the myth of the black rapist comes the myth of the black jezebel, which dates back to slavery. Black women were blamed for their rape because it was believed that they seduced the white men who enslaved them. The image of women as seductresses and men as helplessly controlled by their own libidos dates back to the rigid sexual morality of the early American puritan colonial settlements). 

Black women were believed to be incapable of fidelity and sexually lose. This myth served to devalue them so that no white men would seek relationships of any kind with them. Black women were never considered to be “ladies”, instead they were largely viewed as whores and prostitutes. The notion that blacks are sexual deviants still hurts blacks to this day.

Yet these ideas are not new. In an essay on right-wing conservative paranoia entitled “The Paranoid Style in American Politics”, by Richard Hofstadter, Hofstader argues that it is a common tactic for white patriarchs to depict the enemy in graphic sexual terms, not unlike the Mormons, Jewish persons, and members of the LGBTQ. These groups, like blacks, have been depicted as frequent engagers of illicit sex.

" [The enemy] seems to be on many accounts a projection of the self: both the ideal and the unacceptable aspects of the self are attributed to him. Much of the function of the enemy lies not in what can be imitated but in what can be wholly condemned. The sexual freedom often attributed to him [the other], his lack of moral inhibition, his possession of especially effective techniques for fulfilling his desires, give exponents of the paranoid style an opportunity to project and freely express unacceptable aspects of their own minds…"

Hofstadter claims that the sexually frustrated right-winger projects her/his true sexual desires on “the others”, and depicts these groups as having no sense of morality and insane sexual desires. The public will then have less sympathy for groups they perceive to be immoral, and don’t care if these groups are treated inhumanely or even killed. The public comes to view this mistreatment as fair, and that if the others were better at assimilating then they would not suffer. It benefits whites to depict all others in graphic sexual terms, amongst other moral defects. (Hofstadter lists several.)

After the successes of the Civil Rights movement of ’60s, many rumors regarding black personhood were debunked. Blacks were able to prove that these myths were used for their torture and persecution, and that there was never a time when black men raped white women in large number. Black women, however, retained the image as being sexually loose, and black men are still portrayed in the media as having large genitalia and heightened sexual prowess. Despite these harmful stereotypes, the ’70s saw more sexual freedom for blacks and white women. White women saw a greater control of their bodies, and white men no longer saw the alliance of black men and white women as a threat. 

Part 2 continues...

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