Advice For The Single (A Must Read)

I was in the university bus on Monday with a friend when we got talking. We dwell on a whole lot of topic, diving from the nature in which the university is been run, to the life most student are living aboard to fashion, relationship and then careers. 

Onec discuss that captured my mind is when he says most single ladies are only interested in marrying an already made man.  I pointed out that the society has made women they way they are. Especially with the views on tv and the Internet of all these celebrities. He told me that, he will rather get married to his hustle than marry a responsibility whose only aim is to suck him out for the latest Gucci bags, Prada shoes, the latest 35 inches Moravian hair... hehehe. It then dawn on me that most singles ladies parading themselves as been in vogue might seriously have problems they have to deal with in the near future when the right guys calls.

At this point, most of these ladies who might not have a regular source of income might find it difficult as no man wants to marry a lady that depends on him for every single pin.

We will be sharing with the singles some nuggets before marriage.

*Singles that are preparing for marriage, should get a regular source of income before marriage. Marriage is not just about sex, kissing or romance! Bills must be paid. Pampers must be bought. School fees must be paid. And Your landlord will collect his rent, especially for those of us who live aboard when that end of the month comes and the landlord come calling. I noticed these landlord aint smiling at all.

* The wife to be should also get something doing to support her husband! If nobody employs you please employ yourself before your wedding. 

* Discover and Develop Your Talent. Don’t depend on people because people may only sponsor your wedding but they can’t sponsor your marriage. Take it or leave it, There can be no real romance without finance. Financial hardship can turn lovers to sworn enemies! Don’t wait until you have the world before planning for your marriage.

You can start with a room if you can’t afford a room and parlor for now! As time goes on, God will expand both of you! Start With What You Have! Don’t wait until you have millions of dollars in your account!

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10 Tips On How To Make Your Man Fall In Love With You

Hey my beautiful damsels, you really need to show your man that you have what it takes to drive him nuts. Prove your worth to him and watch him stay. There is hardly any woman or lady out there who does not want to be in a relationship where the man she is in love with is over heels crazy about her too.  Making your man loving you back as he would isn’t hard at all, with the foundational spice I called PATIENCE, and you will be able to.

Below I will be discussing some few tips on how to achieve this; every lady out there needs tips.

10. SHOW THAT YOU ARE INDEPENDENCE

Firstly of all, you need to show that you are independent, and not a lazy fag that depends on every penny from him to get your needs met. It is important that you show him how strong and entrepreneurial you can be. One thing I have come to realise with guy-girl relationship is that, men loves that hardworking, goal oriented babes. Trust me, if you think sticking with him at all times and relying on him will work, then you might need start thinking again, it’s only a matter of weeks or months before he starts avoiding you and finally dumps you.

9. YOU AR NOT A PARASITE

This explains the constant sticking to a man. Neither is following him around will make him want or appreciate you more. You do not always have to be in front of him preparing yourself to so anything he wants.  Men love to have their space, some time out alone by themselves or with the boys like they sometimes call it.

Therefore, it is important that you give him some space, so as not to look too desperate or cheap.

8. DO NOT TAKE HIS PLACE

As much as I always talk about equality, there are some roles that you cannot do when you are in a strong relationship that leading to the alter. When you allow a man to show his masculinity, he will take the lead. As much as you don’t want to be seen as been too over independent, there are certain roles which should be left for the man, trust me men loves it when the women they love seek there counsel.  Don’t we love to be pampered… here is the time to show that.

You should be thankful when he steps in and help in some ways.

7. KNOW HOW TO ENJOY YOUR LIFE

If you have a gloomy appearance and you are always looking sad and depressed, then you cannot expect to attract a man. A cheerful disposition is good always, radiates a man spirit. Make him realise that you have a good life.

6. GIVE HIM SUPPORT WHEN RELEVANT

No matter how strong someone is, even men; there is always a point in their life when they will need to have some sort of support, a shoulder to lean on. It is not the period to act over neither nagging nor paranoid. At this point, learn to be sensitive to the subject of discussion.  When they need it, you should be there for him and encourage him.

5. ALWAYS LOOK PRETTY

When some ladies get married, they let themselves go simply because they now have their spouse. You should not let go. If you went to the salon to get your hair done before you got married, then keep doing that. If you were smart and trendy when he first married you, why stop how?

This is mostly targeted mostly to the married ladies out there. Looking good is good busy. If you man is the one that likes you in skimpy wears, I see no point why you shouldn’t wear that which keeps the spice in your married relationship. Then stay smart and hot for him, it will keep his love and affection for you and will see no reason to look elsewhere.

4. JEALOUSY

I have seen many ladies that try to spend as much time with their friends in order to make their man jealous. This will drive him crazy thinking of those hours with your friends. While I would never do this, because I believe your hubby or man should be your best friend, there are some ladies out there that will recommend this. Again, it all depends on who you are.

The more he craves for your company and attention, the more the relationship grows stronger and the more the love.

3. BE A GREAT LISTENER

One sure way to get your fiancés to be so into you is during your discussion or chit-chat, you show him that you are interested in his discuss by paying rapt attention and listening to him. Men loves it when they have a woman that cares about what they tend to share and discuss for instance, football..

Don’t be self-centred by always talking about your desires and your life alone.  Give him some space to communicate his mind while you listen. Men like it when they are appreciated and praised for their actions.

2. MAKE YOURSELF UNIQUE

There are many women out there that are attractive too. You need to set yourself aside from them. Making yourself outstanding and unique is a key to a man’s heart.   

The point here is finding something that makes you unique and go with it. It is never advisable to just flow with the trends.

1.       1. JUST BE YOURSELF

In the end, you should be yourself. Do not try to be like some super star you once saw on television. Don’t put up an act, be yourself and earn his respect.

Feel free to share your experiences. What do you do to set yourself apart from the other ladies?

How did you make your husband or spouse fall head over heels in love with you?

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4 Possible Ways to Identify A Player

Players, we’ve all been guilty of hooking up with them, maybe even made the mistake of dating them (what were we thinking?!) We know they only cause trouble but there’s something oddly intriguing about their perfectly tousled hair, brilliant flashing smiles, and all-around John Mayer-worthy good looks. However, as much as their looks and intoxicating demean or makes you swoon and feel weak at the knees, never underestimate a player.

They’re a complicated and dangerous breed of men for a few reasons: they’re smart, they know what they’re doing, and they know the effect that they have on women. So how do you outsmart a cocky player? By knowing the rules and in turn, playing the game better than they can. So ladies consider this your go-to guide, with warning signs and advice to help you spot a player before he has a chance to saunter over and entrap you into his game.

He’s Too Overconfident During a First Meeting

You‘re at a bar and a dark-haired, Enrique Iglesias look-a-like confidently strolls up to you, places his hand on your lower back, and whispers “You light up this room” sexily into your ear. He may be telling the truth, but more often than not he’s done this before and he knows exactly the reaction he‘s going to get. Players like to establish control of a sexual situation in its initial phase, and keep that control. They remain cool and collected at all times, rarely making a mistake or showcasing a sense of nervousness because they’re used to getting what they want from a multitude of girls. If you’re still not sure of his overt confidence from his behavior alone, check out his body language. Players will walk with their shoulders back and a hint of a swagger in their step, keep their head cocked to one side when they talk to you, and display the signature bad boy smirk plastered on their face.

He Calls You Pet Names Early On

You may think it’s cute when he calls you baby and sweetheart when you guys first begin talking, but you have to wonder if he’s calling you those names as a sign of affection, or if he’s simply doing it because he has trouble telling you apart from the other girls he’s talking to. Remember, players are smart, smooth, and confident. They may assign pet names to all of the girls they’re talking to so that they will never break their game by making the awkward mistake of texting or addressing the wrong one.

He Only Calls/Texts/Wants to Hang Out at Night

You’re thinking, “Oh, he must have been busy during the day”. That’s not the case. By planning to only contact or hang out with you during the night, it frees up his entire day so that he can do whatever he wants- watch sports, go to the gym, hang out with his friends, see other girls… you get the idea. He remains in control of the situation and gets to keep his freedom, while you’re left wondering what time you guys are actually going to hang out. A nice guy will make the effort to hang out with you when the sun is still out instead of stringing you along all day until you get a text at 1 a.m. stating “Hey”.

He Disappears Randomly

You finally think things are going well: he answered your texts a few days in row, you guys had a romantic picnic under the stars (followed by a great makeout session), and you have seeing you. It boils down to one simple fact: he doesn‘t care about your feelings. So do yourself a favor and make sure to leave his texts and phone calls unanswered the next time he comes back around. If you’re not his top priority, he shouldn’t be yours.

So ladies, the best advice I can give to you about players is to not fall into their smooth-talking trap in the first place. It will only lead to frustration, mind games, drama, heartache, perhaps even tears. If you’ve already fallen into the trap, get out as soon as you can. Remember, never underestimate a player; they’re smart and good at what they do. They like to establish control early on, so it’s better to notice the warning signs so you know exactly what you’re dealing with before it’s too late.

Plans for the upcoming Saturday night and then poof! He’s gone. Whether he flakes out on plans for only one night or he’s unresponsive for weeks at a time, there’s one thing that all players have in common: they always come back. It’s part of their game; they want to charm their way into having you text them and want to see them no matter how many times they’ve dissed you before. When he disappears without responding, it signals that he would rather be doing other things than

Image: fanpop.com

4 Ways to Solve Communication Problems With Your Partner

If nagging and yelling has not come to your rescue yet, try some other way of addressing this problem. Sometimes you just need to find out another way to get your partner hear you out. 

Communication problems are something that happens in every relationship. But that does not mean that you give up on your relationship. Here are some ways you can resolve the issue.

Realise your relationship has a problem 

The most important and probably one of the first things to solving this problem is that you acknowledge the fact that you are having problems in your relationship. Once you admit that there is something that is going wrong between the two of you, talking it out will become simpler.

Talk about it 

Normally when you don’t talk at all about your problems, what is bothering you or anything at all with your partner, it tends to bring out a communication problem in your relationship. Often couples don’t seem to recognise this problem and they go about ignoring one another.

Try a different approach 

If nagging and yelling has not come to your rescue yet, try some other way of addressing this problem. Sometimes you just need to find out another way to get your partner hear you out. It can be anything – from emotionally blackmailing him to keeping your attitude and anger in check and talking politely.

Seek professional help 

Just because you are in a relationship that does not mean you can solve every issue by yourself. Sometimes to get some issues solved, you need to ask for professional help to tackle the issue better.

Don't Do It- 7 Worst Reasons to Get Married

There are so many wonderful, romantic reasons to get married… but on the flip side, there are also the worst reasons to get married. I’m not judging; I just want your marriage to be as happy and successful as possible and I think thats the whole essence of this blog.

To that end, I’ve put together a list of what I think are the worst reasons to get married. Take a close look at your situation and feelings, then compare them carefully against my list. Take a deep breath, and let’s get started.

1. FOR THE KIDS
It may seem like a no-brainer to marry the father of your children, if you had them out of wedlock, but it’s not always the best idea, and in fact, is one of the worst reasons to get married. I speak here from close personal shared experience! I’m not suggesting that the man may not be a good father, but that doesn’t automatically qualify him as a good husband. If you’re hoping marriage will make him into a good father or husband, it’s sad, but it won’t. He is the father and partner he is, just like you’re the mother and partner you already are.

2. TO PLEASE YOUR FAMILY
I know of a close pal who married the first time to please his wife's family; in a way he was pressured into marrying because
they thought it would settle him down. It was a total disaster, of course. Making any major life decision with the goal of pleasing someone else almost always means putting your own interests and happiness on the back burner… and it almost never works out.

3. TICK TOCK!
Your biological clock may be ticking, but rushing into a marriage so you can have children may be a disaster in the making. Your future husband is more than a potential sperm bank; think of him as a partner, then the father of your children, then as your husband once your children are grown. If he doesn’t fit this formula, you might be making a rush into marriage for the wrong reasons. Besides, you don’t necessarily need a husband to be a mother-that’s what actual sperm banks are for! Am only being objective if you if you don't agree with my views here.

4. FOR MONEY
Marrying for money, or financial stability, isn’t in itself a bad idea to get married, as long as both of you know why you’re getting into it. Marriage is, of course, much deeper than romantic love; picking a partner with similar financial goals and habits is actually a good idea. But marrying solely for financial profit is a bad idea, morally, ethically, and even statistically: these marriages rarely work long-term.

5. YOU’RE LONELY
Even if you’re afraid you’re heading down a path that will lead you to being the crazy cat lady, the one who reeks of loneliness and desperation, destined to live forever alone with your ever- increasing collection of porcelain figurines, don’t marry a man you don’t adore just so you won’t be alone. Yes, companionship is important, but imagine how sad it would be to meet your dream man… after you’re already married.

6. YOU THINK HE’LL SETTLE DOWN
If you’re hoping your man will change, settle down, once you’re married, think again. While everyone makes practical changes once they’re married, often times their habits and personalities don’t, no matter how much we wish they would. Marrying a man, hoping he’ll change, is a set-up for disappointment.

7. FOR THE DREAM WEDDING
You’ve been planning your dream wedding for years, pinning glamorous goodies on Pinterest all lunch hour long. But do you see beyond the wedding into your married life, into the future? If you spend more time day-dreaming about the invitations you’ll send, the glittery head-piece you’ll wear, maybe you don’t want the marriage as much as you want the wedding.

While these are, in my view, the reasons to get married that will make your marriage most likely to crash and burn, everyone, every relationship, is different. I just want what you want – a happy, fairy-tale marriage that lasts forever.

Which of these reasons puts you off the idea of tying the knot, and what would you add to my list?

By Jelena Photography by: Jaxon Photos

WHAT SHOULD BE THE IDEAL AGE GAP FOR COUPLES?

Despite the unfortunate rise of the cougar phenomenon (not that dating younger men is unfortunate, just the use of the term cougar), it seems as a society, we’re still more into May-December relations when the guy is the December. Or is it the May? I'm not sure I actually know what that expression is supposed to mean.

But what I’m trying to say is, more people still think that a romantic relationship is ideal when it’s between an older man and a younger woman. Specifically, four years and four months older, which was the average “ideal” age gap as reported by a survey of 2,000 adults.

While slightly less than half of people said there was no ideal age gap (good call, sensible people), 33% of women wanted a guy up to seven years older than them, while only one out of a hundred women preferred a younger man. Not that I have anything against dating younger or older guys, but here’s some afternoon uggghhh:

According to the research, Financial stability was one of the biggest reasons women cited for preferring older dudes, since 55% of women said they couldn’t afford rent or mortgages on their own. Thanks, wage gap!

Most of the guys I’ve dated have never been my age gap rather a couple of years older. Not basically because of the finance, but cos I think they are more matured and understands the woman better.

I will say that while I don’t have a rule against dating younger guys, I probably wouldn’t consider it my ideal dating situation either though. It all left for individual decision to make. It all get down to finding who makes you happy, either way Old or young. Stupid society and its conditioning like my hubby would say, "no rules and conditions when Love is Concern" that men look handsome and distinguished as they age while women don't.

Do you have an “ideal” age difference What is it? Is there anybody out there that prefers younger guys?

Photo credit: Joshua Dwain

Relationship Talk Saturday...

Hello My Fabz fans and followers hope your weekend is starting off on a relaxing, stress free note.

A lot of ladies write me so I decided to put something out there for the men, and also for the ladies to share with their guys/brothers/friends.

Remember you can always write me at info.posche@gmail.com and your story might just be featured on the blog, don't worry we can make you anonymous if you are the shy type, we simply share your story *wink

Here’s some RELATIONSHIP ADVISE FOR MEN... I title this "Treating Her Like a Princess"
culled Relationship Advisers

1. BE SENSITIVE: Women love men that are sensitive by nature. This can also mean openly declaring your love and not being afraid to do so where ever you are. She will secretly revel in the fact that you are so proud of her.

2.DON’T COMPROMISE: Women are forever changing their minds on what they want. You must be a master of compromise to make a relationship with a woman work. Men should have a lot of patience and be good listeners so that you will know what to expect.

3. TRUST HER INSTINCTS: It is known that a woman’s instinct is usually pretty accurate. Accept that women are guided by common sense more than anything else, so if they tell you to follow a certain direction, they will probably be right.

4. GIFTS AND TIME: Women love spending time with their lovers and getting gifts too. They love a man that gives especially if he is creative with gifts.

5. FORGIVE EASILY: Be forgiving of things that are said in frustration and anger. Never use them as ammunition in an argument later either.

6. COMPLIMENT HER: Women love compliments and can never get enough of them. You should however be cautious in dishing out too many, because they can end up becoming meaningless as well. You should look for a balance here. Build up her self confidence by letting her know she looks good, has made a great decision, or been a wonderful cook .

7. TREAT HER LIKE A PRINCESS: Women are dreamers and still little girls at heart. She desires to be the center of attention and you are the knight on a white horse rescuing her.

If you are in love with a woman and she loves you back unconditionally then you have a relationship that is truly worth fighting for. Try and learn as much about her as you can while you are building a relationship; what she likes and does not like etc. When you start understanding her better you have a lifelong loving partner that is worth more than all the money in the world.

So, there you have it. Do you have more to add to this?

xoxo