My Childhood Funny Tales

When I was 10, My Mom protected I and my younger ones from the harsh realities of life as much as possible...

She practically built an impenetrable wall between the world and I. The only movies I was encouraged to see were Tales By Moonlight, Mr Bean, news and a few others. Other programs were heavily guided and even my friends were screened before I was allowed to hang out with them. I mean, I couldn't go for birthday parties, go to the market on my own etc..

I had this friend, Bukky who she approved of at the beginning because she was her own friend's daughter. Bukky and I became pretty good friends until one day... My Mom was going out and as usual locked the house gate and went away with the key. That way, I could come out to the balcony but not into the main compound.

Before she left, she explained that she was locking me in because there was a man-eating-dog on the loose. The dog ate only children and girls of around my age. They'd been trying to capture the dog for a while and every soldiers attempt had proved abortive, she said there's a price tag on the dog for any soldier who is able to capture it; so, I needed to stay inside, so that I won't get eaten up by this fierce dog.

About an hour later, Bukky who was around my age mate came visiting. I couldn't let her in because I didn't have the key to the gate and I was scared for her because she was exposing herself to the man-eating-dog. I told her about it and she looked at me like I was stupid and she said, "you mean you believe that dumb story, can't you see through, she said that so that you won't come out! There aren't no man-eating-dogs anywhere, if there were, it will be in the news or even the neighborhood will be talking about it. I've been out all day long and still will be out tomorrow, how could you be so gullible!"

I didn't quite believe she was right, I thought she probably hadn't been told about the Man-Eating-Dog because, it never crossed my mind my Mom could be making it up.

When my Mom came back, I told her Bukky was around and she isn't aware of the Man-Eating-Dog; Bukky didn't even believe me at all and thinks it's all Lies, I told her. . I'd never seen my Mom ın such a fierce look in my life. She was so mad and forbade me from ever speaking, hanging out or being friends with Bukky again. Reason, she was too wise for me! Ironically, when she said that, I suddenly saw my stupidity and knew Bukky was saying the truth afterall.

These things make me laught today when I remember them. It wasn't so much fun back then, but as I think about it, maybe it was for the better. I was lucky enough to escape a lot of trouble my mates got into at very tender ages.

Do you have such moment while growing up, things your parents might have said or done to stop you from doing things you would have love to do as a young child. We will appreciate if you share this.

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HELP! How Do I Stop My BF Peeing In My Mouth Every Morning!

How do I stop him from this act? 

Bianca 24 sends her story and she needs your advice.

Bianca stay with her boyfriend off campus. Hear her story:

Every morning my boyfriend likes to takes his morning pee in my mouth. This started way back in my year 1 when we just decided to get freaky,he then suggested that he pee in my mouth which I agreed and since then he will wake me up and tell me he has to pee so i will get on my knees open my mouth real wide and wait for him to fill my mouth with his hot morning pee and after his done peeing in my mouth i suck his dick until he comes this is how i start my morning. 

He has gotten use to it that whenever I refuse doing it,he will beat me up so bad, I really love him so much I don’t want to get him hurt,now am scared of drinking his pee because people say it contains harmful substance please is it true,and if yes how do I stop my boyfriend from this act without him beating me up,he enjoys it,is it that he’s abusing me indirectly am just confused, please help!

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A diary of an Ex-otondo (Youth Corper)

Hello everyone! Kindly note that this write-up should have been posted since the 10th of October, 2013 which was the exact date the young lady 'passed out' of NYSC. But due to chronic 'laziness'  and the fact that it has to be reviewed to meet up to what we believe our followers will love. So kindly bear with me on this...thanks! 😃

Here goes her dairy sent to us, we hope you find it interesting! 

NYSC;The End of a Chapter. 

So today, 10th October, 2013, my service year is to end. The thought of it still rocks me, as it is like a dream from which I am just beginning to awaken; needless to say, reality is dawning on me.....FAST! Like a bucket of ice-cold water is being hurled at my scrawny frame, quite jolting. 

I'm 21. Unemployed and totally unwife-able, what an accomplishment. Kindly spot the sarcasm in that sentence, thanks 😏. 

Here I am, still awake, on my bed at precisely 00:28am, indeed more than grateful to BABA GOD for the successful completion of my NYSC year. Throughout this year, I've not fallen seriously ill once, although Od knows how many times I've wished it upon myself just so I could avoid work!      *audible sigh* , never had to be rushed to the hospital because I had a fever, which I must confess would have been really awkward for my present guardians, considering the fact that they are staunch Apostolic Faith members...catch my drift?

My service year was definitely what I expected.....not at all. I got too much of a reality shock and had to read just some of my inner workings as Lagos isn't  really what I thought it was before I arrived here. I knew it was tough, but I had no idea that almost everyone was either tired, frustrated, angry, insane or a disastrous combination of all these! But I'm pleased to inform you that my cursing skills have been well honed and developed by this Centre of Excellence, thanks to Lagos danfo drivers and conductors. My pricing and negotiating skills are better too :D.

Also my experiences concerning exchanging words with Lagos conductors over the issue of change shall definitely not leave ,me in a hurry! Hilarious as the might seem now, in those moments, one would have thought that I was an NURTW worker or something. Ko funny rara mehn...LOL.

But seriously speaking, and in a bid to dwell on the positives, my service year was spent in discovering myself and adding value to others.

In this one year, I have bettered my French-speaking ability, though I'm not yet perfect and I may have to drop out and not take exams with my classmates x_x but at least there is a marked improvement.

I also had the opportunity in August to get my first public speaking 'job' or as I would prefer to term it 'assignment' at YWCA Annual National Youth Retreat with the theme being : ' It's Our World, Where is Our Place?' addressing a wide audience of women cutting across different age groups, tribes, occupations etc. It was awesomely inspiring and also humbling.

Even at my workplace /PPA, I learned a great deal about the functions of my department in NAFDAC and also a lot of clerical duties that I would not have learnt anywhere else e.g. fixing pins into a stapler. As basic as that might sound, believe you me, I had no idea of how to do that before my service year.

Plus, I had a very interesting boss, tough as nails but also incredibly nice. Even though we hail from the same place, she never for once tried to 'famz' and even though I bear the same name as her only beloved son, she showed me no preference amongst my colleagues...well except for assigning more work. But instead of resenting her, I always tried to see things from her POV and I could understand her a BIT better cos I found out that all she did/does is was/is due to love for her job and country. A true patriot, Mrs Amore, from whom I learnt a great deal.

Lest I forget, I took a professional course, wrote the exam, passed and now I'm an Associate Member of the Institute of Strategic Management, Nigeria. Cool, innit? Yeah another feather to my cap for my dainty, petite frame.

And even though I never wrote 'that book' I was aiming to write this year, I've achieved some things of no small feat.

Now, moving on to 'Les Affaires de Coeur' loosely translated to mean 'The Matters of the Heart' for the benefit of you non-French speaking mortals; I've been most unlucky and also most lucky I dare say.

I had probably my most doomed/disastrous relationship eve, for which I take a chunk of the blame as there were so MANY things I handled badly, let happen and could have done differently.

I think in a way I broke his heart and he hurt me too, but Hey! Hearts are meant to be broken, ma Cherie but you gotta stiffen that upper lip. 

Anyway, it's not all dark and gloom, my love-life (if you can call it that). 'Out of the ashes, the Phoenix rises' or how was it said in Deathly Hallows (or was it Half-Blood Prince?)

Back to the topic, there's this guy sha *eyelashes*  I don't know x_x * furiously blushing* okay okay I got this *deep breath* I don't know why I have to share this, but I just felt like...*eye rolling.

Anyways, there's this guy yea, who's been in my life like forever....my first crush ever(like since when I was 3) who just got back into my life for steady and he's talking you know ... L-word and all *dreamy sigh* and he's ALMOST everything I had hoped for. He seemed too perfect, I swear I was glad when I found out his flaws.

But I definitely hope not to ruin it this time tho, taking it easy with the whole commitment and L-word ish, especially the L-word cos when I fall, I FALL. plus, I'm seriously counting on God for this one, o that I don't stray from His will, Amen in Jesus' name o:) 

OK, so it's exactly 1:05am now, so I've been waiting for about....uhmmmm. 

I do hope princessa's blog will find my dairy interesting so she can share on her blog. To all my otondo's out there congratz... We sure can't wait to be in the labour market. 

Gotta go sleep no, so I can be fresh and fit for for the big day today. At least even if I'm not popping table water, I should still look good now, before all those Ikeja and Island babes will start oppressing somebody ...Hian! *yawns* Ok now, eyin temi, e take care o.....muchos gracias, merci beaucoup et au devoir, hasta la vista...BYEEEEE! 

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