What Defines A Woman?

I am unashamedly feminine and very feminist. I beg to differ from the hard line approach but I won't hesitate to voice my discontent with being treated with less respect than i deserve. Of course, feminists rant about respect and all that so it is easy to shake your head and say "uh-oh, here they come. Another one yet!".

Today I am a little peeved about the way the society has pigeon holed women into its own narrow definition of womanhood. That a woman should be seen and not heard. That women should slavishly toe the line behind men, this  frankly it just makes me want to scream. What the hell... aint we taught that everyone is born equal...and that non is to be seen to be superior to the other. Or better still, didnt God himself made man and woman in His own imagine, where then does the ...lies. God in his wisdom would have created me attached to a man's side if he didn't want me to think like a human being, proffer solutions to world problems and help in society building. The reason for my anger, I have watched countless women drain themselves attending to their partner's needs while the said partner puts up his feet on a stool idly flicking through television channels even though the two of them just returned from chasing money or engaging in some energy draining venture together. I was listening to a documentary recently on Aljazeera, where a man who has been married to his wife for twenty years, turn over night to divorce her and kick her out of their home, the house they shared together, bringing in a sixteen year old teenager as a new wife. The anger in me persisted, when the so called man is a Muslim, and according to the him, he said he could divorce her if he thinks he is tired of her and then bring in another. In a nutshell, without full divorcing papers na so the woman pack her bags and luggage comot ooo. Am sure in a country with law and other, such wont have happened. The so called husband has even refuse to support her and the four children since she was kicked out over 6 months ago. She had to constantly run around him everywhere so he could give her allowances for the children. At the end there is no where to run for assistant. She is torn between how to care for her children   and the cruelty of her ex-husband.

While I am not averse to treating my man like a king, I reject being treated like a slave. I will tell you what defines a real woman. Her ability to manage the home, raise God fearing proper children AND CONTRIBUTE TO THE ECONOMY OF HER COUNTRY IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. Proverbs 31: 10-31.(*.....she perceives that her merchandise is profitable, her lamp does not go out at night").

Word up guys, it is never too late to help your spouse or partner accomplish her God given mission here on earth. it is for your own good because as intriguing as the slave-master routine is, it gets extremely boring and before long you start looking under strange skirts jeopardizing your happiness and peace.


In this woman case, what didnt she do right?

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Marriage: To be Endured or Enjoyed, Whats Your Take?

It is a  noticeable trend that most singles are gradually slipping out of that idea of having a perfect relationship or a long lasting relationship or marriage or simply having a happy marriage.

They already have a preconception that all guys or ladies cheat and have already given their boyfriends, girlfriends or spouses that blank cheque of cheating and not to disappoint them, he or she makes full withdrawal.

Our values are changing, and our expectations from what God designed to be a bliss are being degraded.

Young people are opting for celibacy. They'll rather stay single that end up in that kinda marriage they find in the society. Happy today, punching bags the next. Couples are often changing to clients seeking divorce. This isn't God's blueprint.

I know people who are married and I 'believe' they are happy. They are the ones who don't tell you all men/women are cheats. They tell you marriages work. I'm not leaving out the fact that some people hide all their issues so well. There is just how far you can go hiding some things. If there is no love it will surely manifest.

All these ideas we already have are a result of our personal experiences. The marriages we have seen around us. It could even be our parents or what they have told us and made us believe about the concept of marriage.

What's your motive for getting married?

The question of purpose/motive is one question we fail to answer with respect to the things we do in life even asides marriage. When the purpose or use of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.

People go into marriages for the very wrong reasons or without having a good idea of why they are there.

I've heard people say they are old enough. If only age was enough to make you have a happy home. Although in our society, the pressure mounts (esp on ladies) as they approach their 30s.

Two people can't work together except they agree. But its sad that people go into marriages without an agreement on how they'll handle things. How they'll resolve issues. The leave the decision to 'when we get to the bridge, we'll cross it'

Sadly they both have personal bridge-crossing ideas and they are not willing to change. Knowing fully well that both parties were trained differently as they grew up.

Domestic violence, divorce, cheating are not part of God's plan for the marriage institution.
These days, couples easily go down that divorce road. Infact they have had it at the back of their mind before they even got into the marriage. 

It might not be a bed of roses. Even if it is remember beyond the floral parts of the rose, there exists thorns which can prick if not well handled.

God wants you to enjoy your marriage!

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The African Bride

In marriage, what you sow is exactly what you reap. This may not be true all the time, and may not be true for all marriages. In African marriages, the husband remains the head of the family. The wife and children are his. Every husband prays to have  a good wife by his side, some of us women do not know the qualities of a good wife. Many of us do not even realize that we are created with these qualities inside of us, we do not need to download or install them from anywhere, like most people thing. All we need do is activate that part of our being and see our marriages being rejuvenated, it is right inside of us.

In African Marriage, during the marriage ceremony, elderly women, friends and family of the bride are called in to advise the bride to be. One thing in common is the advice to be a good wife, to honor the husband. The people who volunteer to advise do not fail to remind the woman that her husband (the groom) is the head, and that she should submit herself to him, cook good meals for him and ensure that he is happy in life. 

I strongly believe that to be a good wife is to make the man happy. The man's life should not turn into an unhappy one after marriage. If a rather happy and bubbly man suddenly or say gradually becomes depressed and unhappy after marriage, it doesn't speak well of his wife. Below are a few tips to guide us as we continue in our marital journey and the quest for happy marriages.

No one is perfect. We can all try our best all the time to build happy marriages. An unhappy husband will leave his wife unhappy. To be happy in our marriages, let us try to make our husbands happy men. In case you feel like your marriage has gone beyond repair, there is a book I will Strongly recommend for you. It does wonders if only you follow the instructions. This book is: Winning Your Husband Back Before It's Too Late. By Gary Smalley  and another great book: The DNA Of Relationship By same Author. When you read these books by this marriage expert, meditate on them and try to follow instructions. You will practically see the change you wish for in your marriage. I read his books a lot and can recommend them anytime because following his directives has not failed me, not at all.

Happiness is the key, be happy, it is possible to create happiness for yourself. No mortal man can give you the happiness that you so deserve, and desire to have. 

Don't get into the habit of over seriousness and a frowning face. Look cheerful because your face is the mirror to your soul and every body reads you through that face. Try your possible best to maintain  a good relationship with your husband. 

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Kissing: Its Vital Role in Choosing and Keeping Partners

Two new studies of kissing have found that apart from being sexy, kissing also helps people choose partners–and keep them. 

In a survey carried out recently, it was said that women in particular rated kissing as important vital communication signs in building up their relationship, however more promiscuous members of both sexes rated kissing has a very important way of testing out a new partner if he is the one or not.

I know there is this chemistry that comes with kissing someone you love. Well if you are so into kisses like me, am sure you understand what am talking about *wink 

Read on...

Anyways, one of the study’s authors Professor Robin Dunbar explained that kissing may help solve the ‘Jane Austen’ problem: “In choosing partners, we have to deal with the ‘Jane Austen problem’: How long do you wait for Mr Darcy to come along when you can’t wait forever and there may be lots of women waiting just for him? At what point do you have to compromise for the curate? …[and] kissing plays a role in assessing a potential partner.” But kissing isn’t just important at the start of a relationship; it also has a role in maintaining a relationship. 

The researchers found a correlation between the amount of kissing that long-term partners did and the quality of their relationship. This link wasn’t seen between more sex and improved relationship satisfaction. 

In a second study, the researchers looked at the link between women’s menstrual cycle and the importance of kissing. What they found was that when relationships were young, kissing was most important at the most fertile stage of women’s cycles. This suggests kissing could be a way of assessing a potential partner’s genes.

How much kisses do you give your partner, do you share this view? Does kissing helps you know what your partners feels about you? How do you feel the first time you missed your partner? 

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