Single Pringles: Why Am I Still Single!

Why hello there. It’s been away for some time now and am sure you all have notice that I have not been able to upload as much as I normally would. My apologies really. I’m even tired of making apologies but thing is I’ve been mad busy with life, school, studies, family avoiding getting arrested and/or beat up and organizing some New trends i want to add to this blog titled the “Letters To My Ex” series. It promises to be nice and interesting... Just stay tune

So yeah, sooner than later or maybe later when I get it all wrapped up, you will read it here first). Today however, I want to address a different issue on my weekend Trillz series 

address: different issue

LOOOOOOOOOOOL..I’m really so funny.

No?

Not even a bit?

If you’ve been reading my stuff here of recent, you will note I’ve been writing quite a lot on relationships. I don’t even know why o, it’s not like I’m like @8plus9 or @thetoolsman that are experienced in these matters. It however might be because I’ve been reading their stuff a whole lot and they are influencing my thought process. Shut up! I say again. hehehehe. But I will focusing more to the guys today! 

Anyway today, I got wondering and I don’t do that often but when I do, I really do. So I sat there and asked my self a question, I said “Self!” Self was like “yeah?” I’m like “Self, why do we have so much single around ?” and self was like “you should ask yourself” and i looked at self like O_o , “I’m asking you though, why you asking me to ask myself?”, Self got all defensive and raised his voice by itself and was like “Why are you asking you? I said you should ask yourself!”

So that discussion berthed this topic: Ask YOURSELF, why are you single?

Now I’m going to attempt to answer this question from different viewpoints, I may or may not be wrong and you might find that you belong to one or more of the categories. I don’t know.

- You’re Ugly.

See yeah, who makes the yardstick for what is ugly and what isn’t ugly?Who set the standards for beauty? Isn’t beauty in the eyes of the beholder? Aren’t Segoon Arinze, Bola Tinorbu and Razerk Awkoya married. The people that married them, do they not know beauty when they see it? Look if your excuse for being single is because you’re ugly, then you need to wake up from that thought, remove the tree trunk in your eye and find the woman that loves you for what..sorry, who you are. Facial constitution is not a barrier to love. That area boy that doesn’t even brush daily and looks like a rumpled paper from a 2B note still has one babe that calls him ‘onny’ on the regs. My friend, gather up your balls and walk up to that lady. Let your inner beauty speak for you! Let your charm and charisma sweep her off her feet! Let the baritone of your voice cause a dam to burst open in the region between her thighs! Let…ok, I’m getting carried away. You get my drift.

1- You don’t have money.

So you’re the type of nigga that sets off bank alarms when you pass by becuase even the building can smell your broke ass from miles away. I mean, you’re so broke you don’t even get credit alerts simply because there’s no money to debit you from. But you love some babe, however you’ve been told that relationships are expensive and you need some finance to maintain the fuel of love. Let me tell you brethren; Money should not stop you from commiting to a woman. Look, do you think the Lord cannot bless you with a woman that is willing to ignore the absence of money? Oh? OH? I can hear the murmurings. Look my nigga, I’d have said ignore the things you see in Nollywood movies but I remembered your ass can’t even afford a TV. so yeah, here’s what you do: Find yourself a rich babe. HOW? I don’t know abeg.

2-You’re a Player.

Most guys today are single simply because they already have what they want. Do you know the pleasure that comes with having access to watch DSTV when you want without paying subscription? No aunty, tell me why that guy will commit to you when he’s already finished work? So yeah, guys have noticed that they can play trial matches for different clubs before deciding which club they’ll permanently join. So rather than put their all into impressing at the trials, they put up an average performances. These guys eventually get to the point where they realize that there’s more to life than playing but this realization might take forever. Be there forming player up and down o, continue. Until your mates all settle down and the only settling you’re doing is on your couch, eating regrets out of a paper bag while tears stream down your face. No continue…

3-You’re Handsome. 

 Unlike the ugly ones, this group actually believe that they’re God’s gift to women. They feel like they were sculpted from the fabric of beauty itself. These guys walk abi float and act like they dont even shit. if they shit sef, their shit don’t stink. Their shit is probably what mars bars are made from. Enough of this shit. So yeah, they wait for the perfect woman that complements their looks but the snag is that they lack so much in personality, sense, manners and the basic things that make up a normal human being. Can you tell i’m pissed at their shit? Look, its not like I’m not fine. I mean, on a scale of 0 – Idrils Elba, I’m probably a Taye Diggs (yeah he does look like me) but yeah…You better stop deceiving yourself up and down, you think all the “OMG! You’re so fine” you get on IG make you some sort of superstar. My nigga, humble yourself and let the Lord exhalt you…or not. By the way, opposites attract, I’m just saying.

4- Your Member is too big.

You’re actually a humanitarian because you’re considering the damage you will wreck if you attempt to put your baton inside her. This is why you’re single. I mean, people don’t appreciate what you’re doing because they don’t understand  but it’s ok my nigga. Your type is rare. Keep doing you. (Yes I mean masturbating). More grease to your…palms?

5- You’re Ugly and Broke . 

Brother, relationship is not for everyone 1 cor 7:8. Oops did I just say that? ;(

6-You’re The Reserve One

Well, I’m sure I haven’t exhausted all the reasons. There are likely more reasons why you’re single. Maybe because you’re waiting for a prticular babe to break up, maybe you don’t believe in dating before marriage (ehm, yes ke) or maybe you’ve just decided that you want to be an eunuch or something. If you’re single, please share your reasons and feel free to add more using the comments box. 

The “un-singles” are welcome too.

Have a lovely weekend!

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7 Worst Kind of Relationship To Avoid

A world where the average population ratio of a guy to a lady is about 4 ladies to one guy, there tend to be a situation where even when these guys treats the ladies badly, the fear of rejection still keep them in the relationship.

Love they say is the most profound emotion known to mankind. For most people, romantic relationships are the most meaning element in their lives. In experiencing such, we will be sharing with the ladies, the worst kind of relationship to avoid and simply take a walk out of such relationship that might endanger their emotion and leads to frustration.

1. THE TAKE, TAKE, TAKE RELATIONSHIP
The very first relationships that are best avoided is the take, take, take relationship. This relationship is full of nothing but taking! Either your partner is constantly taking from you or you are constantly taking from your partner. It’s a relationship that is not about giving at all, which is not good for anyone. This is a relationship that you need to get out of as soon as you can, otherwise you could lose yourself completely! I am an advocate of a give and take relationship. It shouldn't be one side at all.

2. THE ON AND OFF AGAIN
The on again and off again relationship is one of those that is really hard to be in, because you never, ever know where you stand in this type of relationship. If you are in an on again, off again relationship, get off the carousal and really see if you can figure out if your boyfriend or girlfriend can commit to you completely.

3. PLAYER COUPLES
Ah, this has to be one of the worst types of relationships out there, as it is full of cheating. Believe it or not, there are a lot of couples out there that cheat on each other – but are still in a relationship with one another. Why? Well, it’s unclear, but they have gotten really sneaky at hiding the fact that they are cheating on each other really well.

4. CLINGY COUPLES
These are the couples that can’t get enough of each other, that have to do everything together and they almost come as a pair, instead of individual people. They hardly ever use the term ‘I’ and instead, it’s all about the ‘we’. This is the type of relationship that could be happy, but there really is no independence in their relationship at all, which can be damaging if they do happen to break up.

5. TOO MUCH DRAMA
Oh, the drama in this type of relationship. This is a relationship that you just wish that they would break up, because they fight about every single thing, no matter what it is. They also don’t care who is there, because why would they? It’s their relationship and you are just living near it.

6. THE DOMINATING RELATIONSHIP
This relationship is all about who is the most dominating and who is the most controlling. It’s a power-struggle relationship, where both of the people are really trying to figure out who has the most power and who is going to tell the other person what to do. It’s a tough relationship to be in – all of the time.

7. THE ‘COMFORTABLE’ RELATIONSHIP
Finally, this is a relationship that a ton of people fall right into. It’s a relationship that is built around comfort, not necessarily love or need. It’s a relationship that isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s just contentment and settling and who wants that?  My question to you is, wouldn’t you want a relationship that is packed full of love and want?

Whatever your answer is, i beg shine and open ya eyes...

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